When it comes to shilling for Gore, Joe Conason long ago crossed the line of self-parody. We've been hearing variations of the same theme ever since Bill Bradley first came on strong over a year ago: According to Conason, any Progessive who doesn't vote for Gore invites the destruction of all they hold dear. Please. Conason goes as far this time as to call Nader's supporters "disingenuous," and then proceeds to offer the completely disingenuous argument that a vote for Nader will result in a Republican Congress. How does that follow? If anything, Nader's candidacy will only aid the Democrats in taking back the House and Senate, by bringing disenchanted lefties to the polls. If Conason wants to talk about being disingenuous, perhaps he can explore the nature of Gore's on-again, off-again faux populist-speak, or how this purported bastion of Progressivism and his center-right running mate can completely eschew the issue of gun control on the campaign trail, now that it's even slightly contentious among the all-important undecided vote. 10/23/00 - In the wake of the national drunk-driving standard signed today, CNN helps you calculate your blood alcohol content. Perhaps they should throw together a PDA version. Ralph Nader, spliced and recombinated by the King Ad-Rock and others (courtesy of Metafilter.) The consensus is congealing: The WP also predicts Ralph Nader will play spoiler to Al Gore in as many as six swing states (not to mention online.) Nevertheless, Ralph is sticking to his guns. After all, the Dems have had fair warning all election season - ignore the Left at your peril. FCC Chairman William Kennard berates the attempt to kill Low Power FM through the appropriations process. Libertarian party candidate Harry Browne on Meet the Press: "If I'm elected president somehow, on my first day in office I will pardon unconditionally everyone who's in a federal prison on a non-violent drug offense." Quotes like that will send ya screaming up the Murphometer. Rock me, Amadeus! Salieri-esque mediocrity that he is, Gore looks to the bawdy master political impresario for salvation. And you may say to yourself, "This is not my beautiful hand!" 10/20/00 - Doh! Episode II select: Evil, evil is his one and only name... The NYT profiles the Clinton-Gore falling out, and how Gore's rejection of Clinton's aid may cost him the election. Of course, The Gore Republic would much rather blame a Gore loss on Nader. Elaine passes along this Political Hip-hop Track-cutter. Flash-intensive, but Dubya's B-Real delivery (who knew?) makes it all worthwhile. Fairvue Central has another stunning new blogportal, "We didn't Start the Weblogs." Great stuff...GitM didn't make the cut, unfortunately, but then again it's kind of a mouthful (Via Hit or Miss.) Make fun of my heart surgery, will ya? Letterman gets tough on Dubya. A Subway Series Primer: The mascot for the Mets wears a Mets uniform and has an oversized head; his name is Mister Met. The mascot for the Yankees wears a Yankees warm-up jacket and has a somewhat smaller head; his name is Mister Giuliani. Guns? What's wrong with guns? We're Democrats...we have no problem with guns. Grant Morrison on his new X-Men gig...gotta wonder where's he going to take it (via LinkMachineGo, who also links today to this strangely disturbing quasi-Sims historical art project.) In defense of Drudge. Personally, I agree. He's gotten a story wrong here or there, but his track record is usually spot-on and he doesn't pretend to be any more a reliable source than he seems. I say, Go Drudge. 10/19/00 - Matt McConaughey, Dragonslayer. Heck, if John Cage could do it... Diehard Sox fan Seth Stevenson loathes the Subway Series. In Space, no one can hear you flush...(Via Lots of Co.) The most recent casualty of the Drug War: John Adams, Age 64, was shot dead by two police officers who were conducting a drug raid on the wrong house. Adams did apparently shoot first, but then again he had two armed men breaking down the door for no conceivable reason. Not as black and white as the case of 11-year-old Alberto Sepulveda (see 9/15 post), to be sure, but another life lost due to the murderous combination of Drug War tactics and police incompetence. And yet Bush/Gore remain silent. In related news, the President signs a bill allowing Heroin addicts to take new medicine at home rather than at a clinic. Sounds good, but why did Clinton wait eight years until he signed anything that moved the question of drug abuse from a moral to a medical issue? Go get 'em, Tiger: At least according to Tobey Maguire, indie fave Alicia Witt will portray Peter Parker's paramour, Mary Jane Watson. Cameron Crowe and Dreamworks try to wrap their brains around why Almost Famous flopped. Some principle. Despite the squeeze put on the Dems by the death of Governor Carnahan, Joe Lieberman still refuses to give up his Senate bid. Polls in Connecticut show that the backup Dem, Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, would win the seat in a walk if Lieberman would only step aside. In related news, the Senate may have slipped away, but odds of Democratic control of the House are looking increasingly favorable. Undecided voters receive another beatdown, this time from Salon. McCain plays it coy on 2004. He says he won't run, but my guess is if Gore wins he'll just need a few "puh-leeeze run, Mr. McCain!!" party poobah prostrations before he starts warming up the Straight Talk Express. 10/18/00 - The NASA Solar System Simulator (courtesy of Slave.) Met-crazy Matt over at Game Six passes along this bittersweet tale: the diary of the Walrus Man action figure. I must admit, Walrus Man (or, as my best friend in Kindergarten called him, Butt-Face) didn't get much love from me as a kid. Sure, I'd use him in the occasional cantina/Jabba backdrop situation, but he wasn't cool enough to make the Bounty Hunter task force (basically the League of Super-Villains, consisting of Fett, Greedo, Bossk, Hoth Han [in my world, an evil Han clone], IG-88,AT-ST Driver, Cloud Car Pilot [he had a Cyclops-like death beam], Imperial Gunner, two Battlestar Galactica Cylons, Luke's Jedi cloak [in my SW kid universe, an invisible wraith], a chunk of beige Silly Putty (basically, the Blob), and a rubber Halloween bat) that usually confronted my team of heroes. No, I could definitely see how Walrus Man would feel this way, I just never felt his pain...until now. If you couldn't tell from the above post, I was (and am?) a completely Star Wars-obsessed kid. All the figures, 90% of the ships and playsets...now all collecting dust - and hopefully value - in my parents' attic. The fight for Low-Power FM continues. A Master at work: The incomparable Terry Gilliam directs Johnny Depp in The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (picture scored by Dark Horizons.) A pair of Thai monks abandon their vows for the sinful pleasures of Karaoke. The Head of the Charles, American rowing's premier regatta, takes place this weekend in Boston/Cambridge. Man, I wish I was racing...I have very fond memories of this event from back in the day. There's no better time for a coxswain to indulge his Ben-Hur fantasies than the Head. I'm pretty off my racing weight these days, though...perhaps next year. Debate III: As in the first two forays, my initial instinct is to say that once again, nobody won. Gore was overbearing, Dubya was unprepared, and Jim Lehrer was clearly not up to the task of handling these two boys. That being said, I can't understand how anybody could have watched last night's melee and still think George W. Bush has any business being anywhere near the Oval Office. You can't put too fine a point on it - this guy is really a moron. So not ready for Primetime. He underperformed beyond my lowest expectations. He was bumbling, evasive, incoherent, and so fundamentally uninformed that I'm starting to wonder how he mustered enough brain cells to run the Rangers, much less the state of Texas. I've gotten used to Dubya's nervous snorting habit by now (it doesn't take much experience or cultural savvy to know what type of indiscretion would cause such a tic), so I can tune it out. But there were times when Gore was speaking - in his hyperbolically annoying, smothering, tin-eared way, I might add - when the camera cut to Bush and there he was, giggling and cutting up in all his immature, dumb-rich-kid splendor. If Gore was the worst epitome of the pompous, terminally self-important High School debater, than Bush made the classic example of the lousy benchwarming footballer goofing off in the back of fourth period study hall. Like I said, Gore was as aggravating, phony, and unlikable as you would expect, but for all his many, many faults at least he seemed to possess the intellectual wherewithal to occupy the Presidency. Bush didn't seem like he could cut it in the Safety Patrol. And this isn't a Liberal-Conservative thing. I couldn't agree less with Pat Buchanan, but at least he seems to have the requisite smarts for the job. I can definitely understand why you'd want to vote against Gore - heck, I'm voting Nader in no small part because of my utter contempt for the Veep - but I have no comprehension as to how you could in good faith vote for Bush. If that makes me elitist, than so be it. I still can't believe that we're actually expected to get excited about either of these two losers. It's little wonder they don't let Ralph in the room. Hmmm...what would bolster the morale of our fighting men and women in uniform? I know...let's make 'em look even more like the French! Given what berets have meant to the elite corps, it all sounds a bit like grade inflation to me. Subway Series! It's gonna get ugly in the streets of New York. Having no lifelong allegiance, I'm rooting for the Mets. The Yankees have had theirs too often lately, and I never much liked the way they ended up treating David Wells. Besides, if the Bombers beat the Amazin's, their bandwagon fans will be that much more insufferable...they're already acting like Chicago Bulls/Dallas Cowboys fans as it is. There seems to be some kind of curse afflicting Eastern Conference centers this year. First, Matt Geiger got hurt, Patrick got shipped to Seattle, Rik Smits retired, Luc Longley spent less than a week as a Knick before getting injured, and Zo decided to sit out this season due to a kidney ailment. Now, Dikembe Mutombo of Atlanta contracts malaria and Keith Van Horn of the Nets breaks his leg. The sad irony here is that if Ewing had stayed in NY, there'd be no one to challenge him. Sigh. At any rate, the curse may be catching up with the West...Shaq wonders if he's next.

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