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5/2/00 - Nameless bites the bullet and chooses a moniker: Welcome, Aisle 9.

From Grim Amusements, the FBI cough up six million simoleons just so they don't have to say they're sorry. Your tax dollars at work.

The Pacers get spanked again by Milwaukee 100-87, ensuring a Game 5 this Thursday. Indiana's looking very suspect these days. Speaking of suspect, the Hornets fell far short of my playoff prediction: they were knocked out by Allen Iverson and the Sixers last night in Philadelphia.

Bird on a Wire relates the next chapter of the Napster v. Metallica saga: Now, they're threatening Napster users. This is no way to treat your fans.

I was glad to see Malapropism offer up the correct pronounciation of Target in today's post. Elaine and I registered with Club Target ("Cloob Tarjee") before the wedding and it remains our favorite mega-store, visted at least weekly.

5/1/00 - Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton have tied the knot (her second marriage, his fifth). I'm sure Thornton's ex-fiancee, Laura Dern is (understandably) pissed, but how is Jolie's brother taking the news?

Sissyfighters, look out for Scrawny Lou. That's me, and I'd be happy to help you destroy other girls' self-esteem.

Happy Mayday.

My sister Gillian - the one mentioned in the Center Stage post of 4/29 - is also featured in this month's Dance Magazine. You go, girl.

One of my ex-rowers sent along this story from Row2k.com which makes reference to the picture on the left. That's me in the air after winning Eastern Sprints in 1997.

The Knicks swept the Toronto Raptors 3-0, thanks in part to a ridiculous bank shot tre by super-clutch LJ. Even more heartening was the return of Allan Houston in Game 3, who led all scorers with 23 points. New York now faces archenemy Miami for the fourth year in a row (New York won in 1998 and 1999, Miami won in 1997 after the controversial suspension of five Knick players.) Bring the pain!

In other basketball news, Phish found this article on the corporate slighting of my man Latrell Sprewell, the soft-spoken energizer behind the Knickerbockers' success story. And the Kings finally beat the Lakers 99-91 in Sacramento Sunday night. They win another and all bets are off.

Rumors are circulating about a forthcoming sequel to Deep Blue Sea, tentatively entitled Deep Red Sea. I thought the first one was a rental at best.

Brando, DeNiro, and Norton together in a heist pic? Could be interesting.

Al Gore manages to score a visit with Oz the Great and Terrible before Dubya. I wonder if McCain intended to slight his party's nominee in this manner.

Hit or Miss points out this story on Clinton's farewell to the press. I particularly enjoyed the following one-liner: The president also offered several photographs that he said he couldn't believe -- "It's a photo of the vice president applauding one of my policy initiatives." The enclosed mockumentary is a tad long, but it has some really classic moments near the end. (By the way, Matt, to my knowledge I am not related to any Bessies.)

High Industrial gave me a good laugh with this.

4/29/00 - We just got back from Where the Heart is (Elaine liked it, I thought it was an average Lifetime TV movie.), where we also saw a preview for Center Stage. The forthcoming film (opening May 12), which concerns a young woman's foray into the rough-and-tumble world of professional ballet, cameos my sister Gillian and stars my sister's longtime boyfriend, Ethan Stiefel, as debonair dancing ladykiller Cooper Nielsen. If you happen to watch the preview, my sis is the "other woman" seen -- very, very briefly -- leaving the stage door with Ethan (as the jealous main character looks on.) This takes place in the clip after the words "Life Doesn't Hold Tryouts."

Detroit goes under. Barring a massive falsification by the Knicks (which is always a possibility), New York and Miami will face each other yet again in the post-season.

Some Dutch researchers now believe that beer may be better for you than wine. Guinness for Strength!

It's 3 in the morning, Elaine is asleep on the couch, and Alice of the Brady Bunch is currently on a seriously dated Celebrity Dating Game. Ah, the Cornucopia of Pop-Culture Kitsch that is late-night weekend television. I take it this was filmed before she was born again.

Indiana center Rik Smits is suspended for Game 3 against Milwaukee as a result of his vicious elbow to Ervin Johnson's head in Game 2. Flop foul king Reggie Miller whines in comment, "I've seen a lot worse in playoff basketball, especially when we played the Knicks in a few series...There was a lot more blood and gore and gouges but no suspensions." Whatever, Reggie.

In the Battle of the Bands, the Offspring side with Napster (Via Squirrelgirl.)

Wiremommy offers all manner of interesting links on the topic of perceived muggle plagiarism. I can't believe this woman is serious. If the Harry Potter books were really anything like her creations, there's no way any of us would have ever bothered to read them.

Caught in Between points out this story about the horribly fatal plague carried by SIMS gerbils (login required). Scott, Jen, Brig and other SIMheads: Beware!

Haiku the Blog spreads the love with this ditty:

Ghost in the Machine
Basketball, politics, stuff
He has many links!

Thanks, y'all!

The Associated Press backs down on the Elian Wassup issue (and Salon's coverage of the episode links to Neale's Elian blog!)

The NCAA joins the Confederate flag boycott of South Carolina. Trust me, that should definitely make a dent in the resolve of sports-mad right-wing Carolinians. In other SC news, our state's most well-preserved historical relic, Strom Thurmond, makes a stand against wine labels.

If ever a heated rivalry could be generated between Toronto and New York City, this is the week to do it (login required.) Not only are the Knicks and Raptors continuing their first-round matchup, but the Toronto Blue Jays are up against the Yankees this week in the Bronx. And, nearby, the New Jersey Devils are facing off against the Toronto Maple Leafs. So, with all these NYC antagonists at hand, why are the Raptors turning upon themselves?

Elaine, our friend Jenna, and I took advantage of one of my employee perks and snagged the office tickets to tonight's Orioles-Rangers game at Camden Yards. The O's won in the bottom of the ninth on a balk, of all things. Good fun, although it's still seems just a tad too cold for baseball weather.

Jesse Jackson takes Gore to task for his Elian stupidity.

On assignment with John McCain in Vietnam, conservative king of smarm Tucker Carlson gets a touch of the Brokedown Palace treatment.

4/28/00 - The GOP puts together a CD of the veep's biggest blunders, including "I invented the Internet," and "no controlling legal authority." Apparently, the smear disc opens with a clip of Bill Bradley in the final New Hampshire debate asking Gore, Why should we believe you will tell the truth as president if you don’t tell the truth as a candidate?"

CNN reports on the AP vs. Elian Wazzup fiasco, while Peterme muses on its sociological implications.

Well, time to get some sleep. The thing about recuperating from this nose surgery is, not only can I barely breathe through the durned thing due to the splint and cotton, but my doctor said I have to sleep propped up like The Elephant Man for the next week. Which is why I'm updating at 6am EST. At any rate, good night and good morning.

Public Blog (one of the many additions to the portal last night) points out this page on Choose Your Own Adventure books, which along with Infocom text adventures, Tintin and Asterix tales, and Star Wars figures comprised an inordinately large chunk of my childhood free time. I must have worked my way through about fifty of these as a kid.

If you liked Monday's teaser, here's the all-new full-length Rocky and Bullwinkle trailer. It includes, among other things, Fearless Leader Bob DeNiro riffing on his famous Taxi Driver mirror monologue.

Sacramento got smacked again by the Lake Show 113-89, putting my prediction of a 5-game series in serious jeopardy.

The Bovine is back!

The Molson "I am Canadian" beer commercial arouses a swell of patriotism in our U.S.-sick neighbors to the North.

State Dept. spokesman James Rubin calls it quits, which will undoubtedly cut down on the "foreign policy exclusives" by his spouse, CNN's Christiane Amanpour.

The Washington Post unveils its Hubble decade retrospective.

The Ubitquitous Mr. Wilder suggests a weblogger pick-up basketball game. Hey, I'm down, although my doc said I couldn't play full contact for a month. In any case, I'll take the point. Anybody else want in?

4/27/00 - Now This nicely encapsulates the Riothero-Webgirl brou-ha-ha. While no doubt Mark had decent intentions, I can see how his execution might come off as patronizing, and I definitely don't think Screenshot and Medley deserved the type of backlash they got from some corners.

The insistent folks at Quicktime offer an all new Gladiator trailer for your perusal.

The Indiana Pacers get blown out at home by Milwaukee 104-91, with Rik Smits getting ejected for a nasty elbow and Reggie getting T'd up for his flopping shenanigans. After last night's Knicks win, this is just candy.

Nice job, Novak.

A day after the shape of the universe is disclosed, another study claims that scientists have managed to reverse the aging process in cloned cow cells. These are the days of miracle and wonder...

In a much less mind-boggling discovery, a government-funded study advocates escalating The War on Beergoggling: "Cheap beer is a leading contributor to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, according to a government report that says raising the tax on a six-pack by 20 cents could reduce gonorrhea by up to 9 percent."

I'm new to Q, but I can already tell it's a darn good weblog.

AP closes down the Elian Wassup site (it's now posted here.) What the hell are they thinking? How many weblogs, news organizations, and assorted other media outlets have displayed the same pics "unauthorized?"

Ba, ba ba ba, ba, ba ba ba, I wanna be sedated. Oh, never mind, I already am. Elaine and I just got back from my nose surgery, and as far as I know it seemed to go well (I was out basically the entire time.) Anyway, I apologize in advance for any narcotic-induced loopiness in today's post.

Speaking of narcotics, drug war hysteria has reached ever new lows. A Senate bill sponsored by Republican John Ashcroft of Missouri would criminalize linking to any website with displays "intent to facilitate or promote" drugs or drug paraphernalia (via Bird on a Wire.) I wonder if this proposed bill would include links to Missouri's own drug kingpins, Anheuser-Busch.

Ashcroft isn't the only GOP pygmy of a stateman stirring up trouble these days. Senator Jesse Helms (R-NC) has vowed to kill any Clintonian arms-control bill that comes before his committee. Which begs the admittedly mean-spirited question, Is Jesse Helms Dead Yet?

Al Gore gets ticked off about Buddhist temple queries, while, in the dumbest, most obviously insincere lie since "No New Taxes," Dubya vows to "end the arms race of anger" between the two parties. Tell that to the steaming carcass of John McCain, buddy.

Breaking news: Rudy Giuliani is suffering from a treatable form of prostate cancer. How this will affect the Senate race is yet to be determined, although I doubt it will be as much of a factor as Senator Bradley's unfortunately timed heart palpitations.

4/26/00 - Boo-yah! Latrell Sprewell and the Knicks erase a 14 point fourth-quarter deficit to edge Toronto 84-83. Spree scored 13 and thoroughly outplayed Vinsanity in the final twelve minutes (although, to be fair, Vince had five fouls in a game where way too many fouls were called.) Knicks look to sweep Sunday night, but the Raptors are too good a team not to win at least one. I'll revise my earlier prediction and say Knicks in four.

It's Haiku the blog,
a new kind of metablog,
Why not check it out?

Did you hear the one about the guys getting into a huge brawl and a chess match broke out?

Doc Rivers of the Orlando Magic is made - rightfully - the NBA coach of the year. Take that, Phil Jackson. In my humble opinion, the fact that the Lakers are so much better this year reflects worse on ex-Coach Del Harris than it does well on Big Chief Triangle.

Genehack points out this nightmare involving a hung manslaughter jury and a coin toss.

According to Italian scientists in this week's Nature, the universe is flat and expanding forever. My high-school senior thesis (Elaine and I both went to a science and math charter school where they were required) also used cosmic microwave background (CMB) data, but all I figured out was that said patterns of lingering background radiation exhibited a fractal structure, indicating a turbulent origin (a.ka. the Big Bang.) Hey, it was the early nineties - fractals were "in."

Megnut opts for a brighter, simpler redesign, and I like it (although she looks radioactive in yellow.)

It was inevitable. Elian's Wassup.

Jake Tapper of Salon explores the tale of Al Gore and the Toxic Waste Incinerator. Meanwhile, Jacob Weisberg of Slate writes how Gore is willfully squandering the Democrats' claim to higher ethical standards. In a tight spot [the primaries], the vice president did not hesitate to grossly distort his opponent's record, to imply that he was insensitive to blacks, or to mock him as an impractical egghead. If you know Gore, you know he'll do essentially the same thing to Bush: rip into his flesh like a crazed weasel while grinning and promising never to make a "negative personal attack" against an opponent.

And finally, Gore has also expanded his criticism of the Elian raid.

Newer readers (if there are any) may get the sense that I'm a Gore-hating Republican. Nope...I'm a Gore-hating Democrat and former Bradley supporter who is now enlisting in Ralph Nader's ranks. In fact, were President Clinton running for a third term, I'd more than likely vote for him. My utter contempt for the veep doesn't make my day job any easier, which is researching and collaborating on a blatantly pro-Gore polemic. Just wanted to clear that up.

GM recalls 279,000 SUVS due to air-bag issues. While you're at it, take 'em all back!

Game 2 in the Garden tonight, and I'm not sure if Coach Van Gundy walking out of practice was a good or a bad motivator. On Toronto's side of the ball, 5'3" terror Muggsey Bogues will start in place of Doug Christie, meaning the Knicks will probably be turning the ball over like it was a flapjack.

Orbiting is now Hyperbole.

Dark Currents, a fictional Gothic narrative in Blogger format (birddogged by Kestrel's Nest.) Clever, clever!

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