The Republican Pastime.

I knew there was a good reason I didn’t like baseball. Apparently the Hall of Fame has cancelled a Bull Durham retrospective because (gasp!) Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon are against the war. (The Hall of Fame only allows in all-American racists, drunks, and wifebeaters, not peaceniks.) Tim Robbins wrote a nice reply: “Your subservience to your friends in the administration is embarrassing to baseball and by engaging in this enterprise you show that you belong with other cowards and ideologues in a hall of infamy and shame…Long live democracy, free speech and the ’69 Mets; all improbable, glorious miracles that I have always believed in.” You go, Tim. As Spike Lee pointed out in the first five minutes of He Got Game, basketball is the true American pastime nowadays anyway.

7 thoughts on “The Republican Pastime.”

  2. hmm. not only that, it deleted post. anyways, what i was saying was i wrote a letter to mr. petroskey at the HOF yesterday, and a1pha wrote a nice one, too. i hope he’s getting swamped with them.

  3. Hey now, why ya gotta be a hater Kevin? I love basketball too, but baseball is still one of the most diverse sports in America (Koreans!) as well as being more about skill than freakish height. OK, so a few too many tight-assed bow-tie wearing types are addicted to it for dubious reasons… but the Church of Baseball is big enough to include even them. Can I get a witness?

  4. C’mon now, troutgirl, I don’t hate the playas. I hate the game. 😉

    That’s a good point on the diversity tip, although I’d argue that Yao, Najera, and the new international wave (Peja, Dirk, Parker, Ginobli, etc. etc.) reflect the beginnings of real diversity in basketball. As for the height thing, I’m not really with you there. Allan Iverson is easily one of the top 5 players in the league, and he’s 5’11 on a good day. I mean, I’m only 5’6″, and I’d rather play basketball over baseball any day of the week…if hoops were that biased against short people, I’d probably try to find another game.

    But, all that being said, the sum of it is I just find baseball boring. I like playing baseball (lefty = first base, if I don’t get put out in the field somewhere), and I love going to games – it’s one of the great summer pastimes. But sitting around watching baseball on TV? You gotta be kidding me. The pace is way too slow…it’s almost more nap-inducing than golf. And, as you alluded to, I can’t bear the stat-obsessed baseball snobs who act like this slow-moving, ponderous game is America’s gift to the world and deride every other sport around. (I’ve also noticed that baseball fans generally love to hate on soccer, which is thrice the game that baseball will ever be – faster-paced, more diverse, etc. – but that’s just anecdotal.)

    Obviously, it’s a bit crass to hate on someone else’s sport – to each his/her own – but baseball gets such ridiculously good press in this country, particularly among historians, that I don’t mind making a few stabs at it every so often. So sorry to offend, but baseball still gets the bronx cheer from this corner.

    And particularly after this Hall of Fame Bull Durham garbage. David Stern can be an authoritarian jerk, but he’s never done anything like this. Although it’s hard to imagine basketball ever getting caught up in this type of “Americanness” debate anyway – that seems to be the province of baseballers.

  5. OK, you got me with the soccer thing. I try, but every time I catch a game on TV it just looks like a totally green screen with a couple of ants moving on it, with a cranked-up Spanish-speaking voiceover that makes me feel strangely jittery. I admire their cardiovascular fitness though.

    I was a historian too, and I think your statement only applies to Americanists. 🙂 None of the rest of the AHA gives a damn about baseball, and I think we’re in the majority now. Bwahahaha!

    Allen Iverson, although he’s an exciting player, is the 10th shortest guy IN THE WHOLE NBA. http://www.nba.com/features/survey2002_height.html And have you heard of the other 9? I think The Answer is a bit unrepresentative of the sample, Kevin. Plus he’s a punk. 🙂

  6. I haven’t looked at the survey list yet, but offhand I know Damon Stoudamire, at 5’10”, is probably the best player shorter than Iverson. And I can’t sleep on Boykins either – 5’5″ and lightning quick to the hole. Who the other eight are (Darrell Armstrong? Rick Brunson? I take it they’re not talking about retirees like Spud Webb), I don’t know…guess I’ll check now.

    Also, sorry to write “historians” when I meant “Americanists” – that type of behavior infuriates the non-Americanists here…my b.

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