The Cooler King meets the Muscles from Brussels.

Heard any really awful movie news lately? How ’bout this gem – Jean Claude Van Damme will be starring in a remake of The Great Escape. That’s flat-out egregious, even worse than Keanu as John Constantine. The Great Escape does NOT need to be remade, but if you’re going to do it anyway, the cast should look something like the one assembled for The Thin Red Line. And there should be no – I repeat no – Van Damage anywhere near the freaking picture. If they have Van Damme jumping the fences on his motorcycle, I expect the ghost of Steve McQueen will haunt him until the end of his days.

On the Prowl.

The new Bob Johnson-owned NBA franchise unveiled their name, logo, and uniforms on Wednesday, and they’re the Charlotte Bobcats. Hmm…I dunno. I know Bobcats works well with the Carolina Panthers (who sport a very similar logo), but I much prefer Dragons or Flight to the chosen name. Then again, I still wish the Washington Wizards (ugh) had become the Washington Monument – I’m all for the singular team names.

Enemies in our midst.

“If I felt that my neighbor of 10 years was doing fundraising for a group, I’d turn ’em in…[the FBI will] just investigate them, and if you’re wrong, you’re wrong. And if you’re right, that’s a big thing!” In other words, report your neighbor! What’s the harm? Suspicion breeds confidence! The Voice‘s James Ridgeway notes the proliferation of Cat Eyes, a neighborhood “civil defense” group encouraging citizens to look out for suspicious behavior. Underneath the spreading chestnut tree…

Man of the Hour.

The Post profiles Anthony Romero, the current head of the ACLU. Intriguing to note that the organization has grown by 33% (100,000 new members) in the past eighteen months. Even if I disagree strongly with the ACLU on campaign finance, I think most of the time they’re doing God’s work. So that membership stat may end up being Ashcroft’s only positive legacy.

Goodnight David (and Atticus).

This Week is off the air, Atticus has left the courtroom, Ahab has gone down with the ship, and the guns of Navarone have fallen silent. Rest in Peace David Brinkley (1920-2003), one of television’s pioneering newsmen, and many condolences to his family. The same goes out to the family and friends of Gregory Peck (1915-2003), one of the big screen’s enduring heroes. They will both be missed.

Sons of Gondor.

USA Today takes a peek at the Two Towers extended edition, and it sounds like Boromir, Denethor, Theodred and Treebeard benefit the most. Also, we’re apparently granted a fuller picture of Faramir’s backstory, which may help to dispel some of the fanboy negativity about his gruff portrayal in the film. Is it November yet?

Soft Money Hypocrisy.

This is not good. Apparently, Chellie Pingree, the President of Common Cause, is being investigated for campaign finance shenanigans. I have to agree with the FEC attorney on this one – even on the off-chance that Pingree didn’t try to circumvent the law, why on earth was the president of CC soliciting soft money anyway? It sounds like the organization is backing Pingree, when the best thing would be to let her dangle. If you’re trying to eliminate soft money from politics, it’s probably best to choose a leader who hasn’t begged for it in the past.

Don’t Call it a Cover-Up.

Typical. While the term “WMD” gets more and more broadly defined by Dubya, Fleischer et al, the GOP issues a lockdown on joint and open hearings into the Bushies’ use of CIA intelligence, since “criticism of the intelligence agencies has been divisive and could hurt national security.” Um…wouldn’t misuse of intelligence agency information to start a war compromise national security too?

Rogue Exterminator.

Interesting…Tom De Lay has refused Dubya’s call to pass the child tax credit. “Ain’t going to happen,” replied the Exterminator. “The last time I checked, he doesn’t have a vote.” While De Lay’s recalcitrance probably helps Dubya/Rove achieve “triangulation,” I wonder if the White House will make De Lay pay…perhaps by allowing Dems to look into his abuse of Homeland Security mentioned the other day.