Ok, I’ll take a card. The teaser for Oliver Stone’s Alexander hits the web and, while I generally enjoy Oliver Stone movies, this look doesn’t differentiate the film from Troy, King Arthur, or any other recent Gladiator meets RotK-CGI type flick. Uh oh.
Category: Trailer Bin
That’s Incredible!
Friday brings a full trailer for Pixar’s latest, The Incredibles. Looks a bit like Freedom Force, doesn’t it?
Hell boy.
Also new today is the first teaser for Constantine. Everything about this trailer looks pretty solid, except, alas, for the title character. I’m not a Keanu-hater by any means, but he’s not playing John Constantine here, not even close. Constantine is a hard-drinking, chain-smoking, trenchcoat-wearing Brit. Keanu is, well, Keanu. The differences are palpable.
The Second Coming.
Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each…Because the world demanded it, The Life of Brian is back in theaters. Best hurry and get your tix before churches buy ’em all out.
Purple Village People Eaters.
Evil unseen alien forces threatening rustic Americana…let’s hope they can handle water this time. Yep, it’s the trailer for the new M. Night Shyamalan movie. With Sigourney Weaver, Adrien Brody, Brendan Gleeson, and a strange period vibe to it, I’d normally be quite enthused about The Village. But Signs was so lousy and self-absorbed that the bloom is off the Shyamalan rose, and this looks to me like more of the same. Plus, William Hurt has been phoning it in now for at least a decade, and he usually means the kiss of death for a film these days.
Terminal B.
A few days after the TV Spot landed, a longer trailer for Steven Spielberg’s The Terminal takes off over at the official site. I think Spielberg’s been on a bit of a roll lately, at least visually, but I fear this might be a product of his schmaltzier instincts. Ah well, we’ll see.
Streep on Lansbury.
Undeterred by the lukewarm reception to The Truth about Charlie, Jonathan Demme tries his hand at another remake in this new trailer for The Manchurian Candidate. Hmm…so the Communists have been replaced by a corporate conglomerate (Manchurian Global), and Sinatra is now Denzel. That works, although Meryl Streep seems wildly over the top here. (In fact, she may even be out-Voighting Jon Voight.) Well, let’s hope it’s a return to form for Demme, and not another needless remake.
Holy Holes and Broken Bats.
Also in the trailer pipeline of late, “Jesus” Jim Caviezel channels Bobby Jones in Stroke of Genius (Not in a million years…this feels like a Lifetime movie, right down to Claire Forlani as the long-suffering wife…and where’s Bagger Vance?), and Bernie Mac rests on his hitting laurels in Mr. 3000 (Nice of ’em to condense the entire movie into a three minute viewing experience.)
Gates of Eden.
Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Stanley Tucci hang around The Terminal in this trailer for Steven Spielberg’s latest flick. Hard to tell how this one came out from here…I suspect Hanks’s accent might end up being a bit Balki-esque by the end.
Paranoid Androids.
I, Robot. You, lame. The new trailer for this project has backed off the Will Smith witticisms in favor of CGI-ish action sequences of the When Robots Attack! variety, but it still looks very far afield from what Asimov intended. Oh well…how’s Foundation coming?