“How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to ‘bullseye womprats’ on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be ‘impossible, even for a computer.’ Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?” By way of Triptych Cryptic, Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job? True, it’s not as devastatingly on point as The Onion‘s recent Bush Refuses to Set Timetable for Withdrawal of Head from White House Banister (“I am going to finish what I set out to accomplish here, no matter how unpopular my decision may be, or how much my head hurts while stuck between these immovable stairway posts.“) Still, decently amusing nonetheless…I was sold on it by the pic of Palpatine reading My Pet Bantha.
Category: Star Wars
Steamwars and MechaElrond.
AICN’s Moriarty points the way to these worth-perusing Star Wars/Steampunk mash-up sketches. And, also via AICN, Hugo Weaving will voice Megatron in Michael Bay’s The Transformers. Can’t say I’m all that interested in Transformers (or any other Michael Bay project. for that matter), but Weaving invariably adds a touch of class to sci-fi/fantasy proceedings.
Peevishness, Palpatine, and Parselmouth.
By way of other, more frequently updated blogs, some amusing links to wile away the hours: the Curb Your Enthusiasm soundboard [LMG], the Emperor takes an important call [DangerousMeta], and Your Own Personal Samuel [Webgoddess] Use ’em at your own risk.
Han Shoots First…
…and don’t y’all forget it. In response to widespread fanboy outrage (and, ok, the chance to make more money), Lucasfilm announces they’ll release the unadulterated original trilogy on DVD this fall. As the AICN crew wryly put it, this will be a day long remembered…
Digital Empire.
“It costs about $1,200 for a print and about $200 for a digital print. So what you do is charge the distributor the same $1,200 they would ordinarily be charged, and $1,000 of it goes into a pot that eventually pays for all the projectors and everything. In about five years you would basically reconvert the entire industry.” TIME‘s Richard Corliss discusses Indy 4, the Star Wars TV show, and the future of cinema with a “retired” George Lucas.
Snowspeeder Luge.
Now bidding for the 2014 Winter Olympics (past the deadline), Hoth. That’ll never work. Even notwithstanding the wampa attacks, the tauntauns would freeze before they reached the first marker. (By way of Webgoddess.) Update: In very loosely related news, Landocalrissian Butler? (Via Cheesedip)
Rebel Pretensions.
After the GOP co-opt the Star Wars universe for their own nefarious purposes, George Lucas makes an appearance with House Democrats (including his own congresswoman, Nancy Pelosi.) The Republican video (shown at CPAC) “depicted GOPers as the virtuous rebels, being pursued by ‘Darth Nancy’ and her imperial henchmen, Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) and Democratic campaign chief Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill.).” Um, yeah, you guys own every branch of government, your boy in office is ignoring the law and desperately trying to wrest power from the Senate, and you’re the Alliance. C’mon now, at least the Yankees own up to it.
No More Toshi Station / Maeby We’ll Meet Again.
R.I.P. Phil Brown 1916-2006, who withstood the blacklist and is best remembered as Uncle Owen. (He joins Aunt Beru, who passed in 2000 (9/14).) And, also in unhappy news, farewell to the Bluths, who’ve gone the way of all good and tragically misunderstood television families…for now.
Galaxy Quest.
Stabilize your rear deflectors, watch for enemy fighters…Also in today’s movie bin is the trailer for 5-22-77, a low-budget paean to seventies fanboys in which John Francis Daley (a.k.a. Sam Weir of Freaks & Geeks, all grown up) must overcome all manner of obstacles in order to catch a showing of the original Star Wars. Can Haverchuck come? (Official Site.)
My little green friend.
“You must feel the Force around you, here; between you, me, the treat, the squirrel, everywhere!…yes, even between the land and the frisbee.” Ok, I know this is wrong on a lot of levels, and I’ve even gone on record (4/9) as being opposed to dressing up animals like Star Wars characters in the past. (Caped crusaders, tho’, are another matter.) Nevertheless, my sister‘s boyfriend Ethan saw this particular outfit and thought it screamed Berkeley, and, well, he does look ready to lay a Jedi-by-way-of-Wookie smackdown, doesn’t he? At any rate, happy halloween out there, y’all, and be safe.
Update: In barely related news, Yoda channels Honey Daniels.