The Lurking Horror.

> EXAMINE CHAIRS
They are two several chairs arranged around the center of the room, along with two couches. Under one couch you find Clinton’s shoes.

> FILL SHOES
You are unable to fill Clinton’s shoes.

This may be the funniest political Internet post I’ve seen since the Cheney poker game: By way of WebGoddess and from the brain of Defective Yeti, it’s the George W. Bush text adventure. Beware of lurking grues, special prosecutors, and that goshdarned Constitution.

Warehouses of Warcraft.

“‘We’re like a stock exchange. You can buy and sell with us,’ says Alan Qiu, a founder of the Shanghai-based Ucdao.com. ‘We farm out the different jobs. Some people say, “I want to get from Level 1 to 60,” so we find someone to do that.'” Via a friend in the program, the NYT examines Chinese online gaming factories. “Most of the players here actually make less than a quarter an hour, but they often get room, board and free computer game play in these ‘virtual sweatshops.’

Eliminate the Babylonians…for credit!

Via Cliopatria, Inside Higher Ed looks at increased use of Civilization III in college history courses. Um, yes, I’ve been playing Civ 4 in almost all of my spare moments of late solely for pedagogical purposes. Seriously, notwithstanding my own inveterate Civ addiction, I can’t see how the game would be in any way useful in teaching history, and particularly at the college level. And if you’re going to use games for elementary, middle, or even high school courses, I think you’d do better with a game grounded in specific history, such as old-timey classics The Oregon Trail or Seven Cities of Gold.

Civilization (and its discontents).

Joyous news for both my dissertation research and my circadian rhythms (but ill tidings for Abe Lincoln of Minas Tirith): I picked up Civilization IV yesterday, but it has an as-yet-unfixed conflict with ATI video cards and won’t run on my PC. So the unhealthy 36-hour gaming-binges that usually accompany a new Civ-iteration will have to wait another week or two. Speaking of which, I haven’t written up a game update here in awhile. So, in brief:

The enemy? His sense of duty was no less than yours, I deem. You wonder what his name is…where he came from. And if he was really evil at heart. What lies and threats led him on his long march from home. If he would not rather have stayed there…in peace. War will make corpses of us all.” Alas, as Faramir predicted, Battle for Middle Earth (which I borrowed from my sister at the end of summer) is somewhat disappointing. A Warcraft-style strategy game based on Tolkien lore, it makes great use of Howard Shore’s score, and admittedly there’s something viscerally satisfying about watching your own contingent of Rohirrim cavalry cut a swath through some lowly orc footsoldiers. But, frankly, too much of the game is a grind. Most of the levels very quickly turn into wars of attrition, where you’re just building units to send them to oblivion, over and over again, until you slowly but surely conquer the map. There’s very little strategy involved, and, as such, even despite the fidelity to Tolkien (by way of PJ), I lost interest in the game relatively early on. Then again, Boromir was always the soldier.


F.E.A.R., recommended by my brother, is basically a Half-Life 2-ish FPS that’s taken its cue from the recent wave of Japanese horror: The Big Bad is a ghostly little girl that for all intent and purposes could have materialized right out of The Ring. To its credit, F.E.A.R. displays impressive A.I. and includes a really fun slow-mo option for Matrixy melees. That being said, much of the (relatively easy) single-player game is standard FPS, whereby you face identical squads of enemies several times over. Frankly, F.E.A.R. could have used more Splinter Cell-type stealth missions or, better yet, some Infocom problem-solving and “lurking grue” caprice. The game starts out frightening, but pretty soon one figures out the only way to die is the usual manner: health to zero. And, ultimately, even despite the supernatural backdrop, that’s rather mundane.


NBA 2K6 is the latest installment in the 2K sports series, which, to my mind, eclipsed the more popular EA NBA Live line several years ago in terms of gameplay and simulation. This one’s a definite improvement over last year’s ESPN 2K5, most notably in handle and free-throw shooting — both are much more intuitive, and now, 85% free-throw shooters can actually hit 85% of the time, rather than 33% as before. If you’re into building out your crib a la NFL2K5, as some friends of mine are, that’s now an option here as well. And, whatever happens to the Knickerbockers this year, I gotta say, they turned out to be an offensively-lethal video game team — Stephon has put up career numbers (although waiving Allan Houston has killed my 3-ball percentage.)

To EA’s credit, tho’, I’m not usually one for car-racing games — They’re often boring, repetitive, and nothing like driving, IMHO — but Burnout 3 and now Burnout: Revenge are far and away the best racing games I’ve ever played (well, aside from the broader-themed Grand Thefts Auto.) True, most of the angst-rock, punk-lite soundtrack gets irritating after only a few minutes, Franz Ferdinand notwithstanding. But, aside from that, both Burnouts have a sense of speed and a visceral crunch to ’em that you don’t find in a lot of Pole Position‘s descendants. Burnout 3, only $20 these days, is worth checking out if you’re of the XBox nation.

Covenant of the Ring.

LotR masterminds Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh announce they’ll be executive producing the film version of Halo, with WETA in charge of the FX. “‘As a gaming fan, I’m excited to bring Halo’s premise, action and settings to the screen with all the specificity and reality today’s technology can provide,’ said Jackson.” Halo? I dunno…even as just a production credit, I think it’s a bizarre choice for Wingnut Films, particularly as a follow-up to the Rings trilogy and Kong.

I’ll see you on the beach.

Also (finally) emerging this evening: The very long-awaited Day of Defeat Source. I haven’t played much in the past year or so, but if DoD-S has managed to merge 1.0‘s already-excellent WWII FPS gameplay with HL2‘s immersive physics and graphics engine as rumored, this could get real ugly. So, DSSG‘ers, other long-time DoD’ers, and Robin Williams, best keep an eye out for the return of Liberty Lad, a freeborn man of the USA.

Crabgrass (and Martian) Frontiers.

Some trailers for movies I doubt I’ll see: Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni keep up with the Joneses via armed robbery in Fun with Dick and Jane, Eomer and The Rock wield BFGs in the totally unnecessary film version of Doom, and suburban housewife Julianne Moore pens her way to big bucks (much to the chagrin of man-of-the-house Woody Harrelson) in The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio. Ho-hum. Also in film news, Ellen Page is Kitty Pryde in X3, which sits better with me than the idea of Eli of Freaks & Geeks as Angel.