The Final Four…and the Zebras.

“All four playoff semifinalists are flawed in some obvious and fundamental way. The Lakers get pushed around. The Cavaliers desperately need one more skilled helper for LeBron James. The Nuggets come to play far too often without their thinking caps. And Orlando violates one of basketball’s Ten Commandments: Thou shalt not live by the jump shot.” Michael Wilbon assesses the NBA’s Final Four. (FWIW, I got the four teams correct, but the series so far quite wrong. Neither Cleveland nor LA is winning in five.)

Also, I’ve seen pretty much every playoff game over the past few weeks, and the critics are right: the officiating is terrible this year. The whistles are wildly inconsistent, frequently game-changing, and all too often are stopping interesting games dead in the fourth quarter. I’m rooting for King James, and I hope Cleveland pushes Orlando to seven just for the sheer interest of it, but the end of regulation in Game 4 — when the Cavs got a bailout superstar call for Lebron as he drove out-of-control to the hoop, followed by an exceedingly helpful no-call as Anderson Varajao put the hack on Howard in the final seconds — seemed as blatant a fix as anything I’ve ever seen in the NBA. (Thankfully, Orlando pulled the game out in OT regardless.) Right the ship, Commissioner.

Update: “The NBA’s failure to develop a new generation of decent referees might be its single biggest misfire of the past 20 years.” By way of Twitter, ESPN’s Bill “Sportsguy” Simmons just posted a long piece on the NBA’s referee problem. “I don’t know what the tipping point will be this time around. I just know it’s coming.

Fan-Tastic 2009.

These are actually a weekend late now, and my knowledge of the league now that I’ve left New York (and thus haven’t been watching Knicks games) is at an all-time ebb. Then again, broadcasting uninformed opinions is pretty what much the Internet was created for, so, without further ado and as per tradition, some quick NBA playoff picks…

[2000|2001|2002|2003|2004|2005|2006|2007|2008]

The East

Cleveland Cavaliers (1) v. Detroit Pistons (8): As per the last few years, I still don’t think King James’ supporting cast quite matches up to the moment. (I like Mo Williams, but he’s no Scottie Pippen, and “Big Z” — Zyldrunas Ilgauskas — is definitely no Dennis Rodman.) That being said, Lebron is pretty much playing to his amazing potential and then some, and it’s clear that — while he may still be Jordan circa ’89-90 at the moment — his dynasty is right around the corner. Conversely, the Pistons look old, tired, and broken. Particularly without Allan Iverson on hand, they would seem to be in the shoes of the mid-00’s Kings: a former title contender now obviously in eclipse. Cavaliers in Five.

Boston Celtics (2) v. Chicago Bulls (7): The Game 1 upset was a certifiable coming-out party for all-around player and Rookie of the Year PG Derrick Rose. (The facet of his game that most needs work: post-game interviewing.) But, let’s remember: The Bulls won Game 1 because Paul Pierce uncharacteristically missed a clutch free throw. With Kevin Garnett reportedly out for the playoffs, I think Boston is dead in the water this year — it’s just a matter of time (And, to be honest, that’s fine with me. They deserve some horrible mojo after swooping up Stephon Marbury as they did.) But they’re still a better team than Chicago and, remember, they had trouble with Atlanta early on last year too. Boston in Seven.

(By the way, was anyone else annoyed with the dubious and oft-repeated stat that Chicago hadn’t beaten Boston in a playoff game since 1948? Uh, well that may partly be because the Celtics were atrocious from the time Larry Bird’s back gave out until Michael Jordan retired. It’s not like the Bulls are the Bobcats, Wizards, or some other legitimately underdog franchise.)

Orlando Magic (3) v. Philadelphia 76ers (6): I’m fond of Superman (Dwight Howard), but, for all the hype surrounding Orlando mid-season, blowing an 18-point lead at home against the lowly Sixers is not something a real title contender would do. And, in the one (nationally-televised) Knicks game I have caught recently, the Magic looked terrible. But I’m not a particularly big fan of this Sixers crew either, so I’ll give ’em the benefit of the doubt and say Orlando in Seven.

Atlanta Hawks (4) v. Miami Heat (5): To be honest, I don’t know the first thing about this iteration of the Hawks: I hadn’t seen ’em play until yesterday, and the last news I heard about their franchise was when Josh Childress went to Europe. But they looked pretty dominant yesterday, and they’ve got a proven clutch performer, Mike Bibby, running the point. So, even though the refs love them some D-Wade, I’ll go with Atlanta in Six.

The West

Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Utah Jazz (8): Always a tough call, for, as longtime readers well know, neither Kobe Bryant nor the Mormon church tend to be in my Fave 5. (And Carlos Boozer is his own case of bad mojo.) Still, the Lakers are deep, Kobe is an undeniable talent, and he’s got arguably the most underappreciated No. 2 in the league right now in Pau Gasol. I think, barring injury, this could very well be the Lakers’ year. In any case — sorry, Jerry Sloan — Deron Williams, Andre Kirilenko, & co. won’t stop ’em. Los Angeles in Four.

Denver Nuggets (2) v. New Orleans Hornets (7): This is one of those series where all my old intel isn’t of much use. Chris Paul and the Hornets looked deadly last post-season — exactly the type of team you didn’t want to run into early on. But I haven’t seen them play this year and don’t know if they’ve lost a step or if they’ve found a way to score when Chris Paul gets triple-teamed. Meanwhile, on paper Chauncey Billups running the Nuggets seems like a huge boon for them — he’s had experience managing hotheads (Kenyon Martin, meet Rasheed Wallace) and can successfully distribute shots among a bunch of players who all need the ball. But is he really enough to stop a George Karl team from choking early on? Given that they’re already one up, I’ll say Denver in Six.

San Antonio Spurs (3) v. Dallas Mavericks (6): With Ginobli out, the aging, injured Spurs got a spot of luck when they matched up against another fading West Coast giant, the Mavericks. I doubt the Spurs are good and/or healthy enough to get to the Conference Finals this year, but I don’t have much confidence in Dallas either. San Antonio in Seven.

Portland Trailblazers (4) v. Houston Rockets (5): I’ve gotten the impression from various sources that Portland is a much better team than they displayed in Game 1. And they’ve certainly got an impressive core of young talent in Roy, Aldridge, Oden, etc. (I kinda wish Channing Frye had continued to develop, but oh well.) Still, just by the law of averages, I think Yao et al are due to break out of the first round. (And there’s a certain irony that they’d finally get to do it after perennial loser T-Mac sorta checked out on them.) Houston in Seven.

[Hmm. With one exception, I picked the top seed every time again. Way to go out on a limb.]

The Rest

Cleveland Cavaliers (1) v. Atlanta Hawks (4): LeBron and the Cavs have pretty much been playing a higher-level of basketball than the rest of the East this year, particularly at home. And I think King James is too focused this year to screw things up in the second round. Cleveland in Five.

Boston Celtics (2) v. Orlando Magic (3): Like the Spurs-Mavs, I don’t have a lot of faith in either of these teams at the moment. But, while I had Boston winning this at first, I think I’m going to switch to the Magic. Perhaps the first round will work out the hiccups for Stan Van Gundy’s team, and — without Garnett on Boston — I’ll go with youth and energy over age and guile. Orlando in Seven.

Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Houston Rockets (5): I’m going to be rooting quite hard for Yao Ming and the Rockets here. But, as with the Cavs in the East, the Lakers are just operating at a different level right now. Los Angeles in Six.

Denver Nuggets (2) v. San Antonio Spurs (3): Unless they psychologically implode, and there’s always a chance of it with this combustible squad, I have to think Denver has enough weapons to take care of injury-ridden San Antonio. Denver in Five.

EAST FINALS: Cleveland Cavaliers (1) v. Orlando Magic (3): Third verse, same as the second and first. The Cavs are playing better ball that most everyone in the East at the moment, and James will not be denied. Cleveland in Five.

WEST FINALS: Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Denver Nuggets (2): With Phoenix, Dallas, and San Antonio on the way down, Denver now looks to be one of the premier contenders in the West. But, unless Carmelo has the type of break-out, monster playoff performance that many think he’s capable of but that we’ve yet to see, I don’t see this being all that close. Los Angeles in Five.

FINALS: Los Angeles Lakers (1) v. Cleveland Cavaliers (1): If you read what’s come before, you may have noticed that I deemed this the Lakers year a few paragraphs ago. And that’s probably true — they’re hungry, they’re experienced, and I don’t see how Cleveland’s going to manage once Phil Jackson uncorks his own version of the Jordan rules on LeBron. But, I’ve gotten pretty far in life rooting against the Lake Show…so, no reason to stop now. Cleveland in Seven.

So, there you have it — Cleveland rocks. And, if they’re this good now, just wait until James get some legitimate help…I just hope it all happens on the Knickerbockers’ watch.

Gotham’s Savior (isn’t a Miracle-Worker).

“‘I don’t know what’s going to happen in 2010. I can’t plan for it,’ D’Antoni says. ‘I just know I live with these guys. My focus is on them. I want to wake up in 2010 and have a couple of the players we have now be the guys we want.’” As his first season with the Knicks winds down (which can be roughly summarized as “Waiting for LeBron”), ESPN’s “Outside the Lines” posts a long (and snazzily-designed) interview with Coach Mike D’Antoni.

The Patron Saint of Mediocrity (and the NCAA).

“And now a madness began in me. The madness of a man splitting in half…I began to see a way — a terrible way — I could finally triumph over God!” Well, ok, I’ll settle for winning a few of my pools. Yes, it’s March Madness time once again. I’ll post my bracket here once I’ve consulted the oracles (and the ghost of Leopold) further.

Update: And, after all that, I forgot to post my bracket. It’s here. After the first weekend, I have 12 of the Sweet Sixteen and a possible seven of the Elite Eight. Final Four: UNC over Memphis, with Louisville and Pitt watching.

Awash in the Juice.

Breaking over the weekend, thanks to Selena Roberts and David Epstein of SI: Yankees star Alex Rodriguez — and 103 other MLB players! — tested positive for steroids in 2003. Given what we already knew about the sea of performance-enhancers in baseball, this isn’t really a huge surprise, and as I said of Barry Bonds, I’m not even sure juicing should be deemed a mortal sin anyway. Still, as pro-athletes go, A-Rod is almost as easy to dislike as Kobe, so I’ll fess up to a bit of schadenfreude in this case.

That feeling also extends to the rending of garments now happening among the “Baseball is America‘s game!” crowd in the wake of the A-Rod revelation. This notion that baseball has some special place in our hearts — a “unique paragon of American culture,” as Jayson Stark effusively puts it in this example — is a sentiment I’ve never shared and don’t particularly agree with. (Besides, the sport survived the 1919 Black Sox. It’ll survive the juice.) And, in my pantheon of annoying sports fans, the baseball purists are right up there next to the bandwagon jumpers. Take me out to the Ball Game…but please don’t sit me next to the stats obsessives or self-appointed diamond historians.

Mobley Takes a Bow.

“‘Getting an MRI basically saved my life,’ Mobley said. ‘You have to thank the Knicks for this.‘” Well, if nothing else comes out of New York’s recent bench-clearing for LeBron, it still ended up being an extremely worthwhile trade. New tests revealed that Cuttino Mobley’s heart condition (hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) is much more serious than anyone knew, and thus Mobley is retiring from the game. “‘The only thing I can tell the younger guys is life goes on, be a good person,’ Mobley said. ‘It’s only 15 minutes of fame that you have and my minutes are up, but I can always still be a good person.‘”

Said Knicks GM Donnie Walsh of Mobley’s decision: “I was happy he arrived at that [conclusion] himself, because that’s necessary for him. None of this is as important as somebody’s life.”

Clearing the Court for King James.

Following up on his stated intentions to free cap space and pave the way for acquiring LeBron James in 2010, Knicks GM Donnie Walsh pulls the trigger on two big trades, sending Zack Randolph (and trade-filler Mardy Collins) to the Clips for Tim Thomas and Cuttino Mobley (pending a heart issue) and Jamal Crawford to the Warriors for Al Harrington, all of which will be off the books during the crucial free agent season in question.

I guess it seems a bit distasteful to embrace so openly the hired-gun philosophy of winning a championship…but, hey, that’s the way the game is played. So, with that in mind, kudos to Walsh on a job well done (and good luck moving Stephon Marbury and Eddy Curry.) Besides, we Knicks fans have slogged through the past eight years since the cap- and karma-destroying trading of Patrick Ewing. At this point, we can probably eat another two.

Tipoff ’09.

While Philadelphians wait one more day (they hope) to end their 25-year losing streak, basketball-inclined sports fans such as myself are now focused on Beantown, where the 2008-09 NBA season tips off tonight on TNT. (And, hey, with zero games played in the season, this newest iteration of new-look Knicks are tied for best record in the league!)

Seriously, tho, while I expect another, ahem, “rebuilding” year in New York despite the best efforts of Walsh and D’Antoni, it’ll be good to have the NBA back in town — and Kenny, EJ, and Charles back in the studio. Particularly now with Mad Men in mothballs again, Inside the NBA is probably my favorite show on television…even if they don’t deign to show the Knicks this year.

Coney Island Low.

“One observer from yesterday’s workout noted the uneasy atmosphere among the other players. ‘You could just feel the hate,’ the person said.” It’s been rumored all summer, particularly since the Knicks acquired Bulls backup Chris Duhon. Now, according to the Daily News, the tortuous Marbury era in Madison Square Garden looks like it may be coming to an end this Friday. “Several persons with knowledge of the situation have indicated that the Knicks are planning to part ways with Marbury by the end of the week…The Knicks will likely place Marbury on waivers and, once he clears, begin negotiating a buyout. Marbury will then be free to sign with another team; the Miami Heat have a desperate need at point guard.

On one hand, getting nothing in return for a player like Marbury seems like a loss for the Knicks. Then again, with his massive contract, Stephon basically has little-to-no trade value — See also Zach Randolph. And if he’s as much of a locker room cancer at this point as this article suggests, we might as well just cut him and start the D’Antoni era fresh. So, so long, Stephon. And if you start actually playing to your long-heralded potential this coming season for Miami, I’m going to be very irate.

Update: “This thing is initiated in the press and then I have to ask questions about it,’ Walsh said, sounding somewhat perturbed. ‘I haven’t approached [Marbury] about a buyout.’” New GM Donnie Walsh says it’s not so.