Weapons of Choice.

To me, the 12 formats serve equally well as a weapon of defense for the consumer under assault from endless advertising messages. It’s like learning how a magic trick works: Once the secret’s revealed, the trick loses all its power.” Old friend Seth Stevenson explains the twelve different types of advertising for Slate, with example ads for your perusal.

Spider-Pigs and Bumblebee Men.

In a world where small towns such as the sleepy haven of Springfield can be threatened by mystifying unseen forces and the desperate actions of President Schwarzenegger (um, shouldn’t that be President Wolfcastle?), it’s up to one typical small-town American family (and spider-pig) to rise to the occasion… Yep, you guessed it: the new trailer for The Simpsons movie is now online.

Mama said you’d be the chosen one.

Making the rounds today, Hillary (and Bill) Clinton — enjoying a bounce in the polls (as is Fred Thompson on the GOP side) — hamhandedly riff on The Sopranos finale (with the aid of Johnny Sack) to announce the new Clinton campaign song, (ugh) Celine Dion’s “You and I.” Celine Dion? There’s yet another good reason to support Obama or Edwards in this primary contest.

38 Weeks Later.

Well, to be honest I’ve been kinda avoiding Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up, despite it getting stellar reviews and my being a big fan of Apatow (and Seth Rogen’s) Freaks & Geeks, as, frankly, nothing makes you feel single like a one-dollar bill quite like seeing what’s obviously the date movie of the summer by yourself. But, perhaps steeled by the not-inconsiderable amount of baby-time I logged last weekend at my college reunion (the Harvard class of ’97 seems to have been very productive in that regard), I finally ventured into the theater this past week to catch Apatow’s flick (on a double bill with Ocean’s Thirteen, in fact.) And the verdict? Well, as you’ve probably heard, Knocked Up is both very, very funny and surprisingly real. For one, it’s got a funky, down-to-earth, DIY, lived-in feel that helps make it, along with Hot Fuzz, the most satisfying comedy of 2007 thus far. But Knocked Up also manages to be rather touching by the end, in a way that feels totally earned. The film doesn’t rely on cutesy baby antics or wildly improbable romantic flourishes to garner your affection, but rather on showing flawed, realistic, well-meaning people trying to make the best out of the complicated situations that make up life, be they modern love, marriage, or an unplanned pregnancy. As such, Knocked Up turns out to be a knock-out, and a very welcome special delivery.

When we first meet Ben (Seth Rogen), he’s rapping along karaoke-style with ODB’s “Shimmy Shimmy Ya,” restaging drunken American Gladiator in his backyard, and getting egregiously stoned with his friends/roommates/business partners (they’re creating a website which tells you at what moment in what films celebs get naked), among them Jason Segel (a.k.a. Nick of Freaks & Geeks, and James Franco/Daniel is skulking around too!) and a guy who’s the spitting image of a young Chris Penn (Jonah Hill). (Update: And the bearded fellow was Haverchuck?! I had no idea.) In short, he’s not exactly father material just yet. Meanwhile, the smart, pretty, and considerably more adult Alison (Katherine Heigl) is currently living with her sister Debbie (Leslie Mann, Apatow’s real-life wife) and brother-in-law Pete (Paul Rudd, thankfully out of the Frat Pack for a bit) and working behind-the-scenes at the E! television network (which is staffed by Alan Tudyk and the current SNL all-stars). And, when Alison, out to celebate a promotion one night, runs into Ben at a nightclub, beers, dancing, and tequila shots work their inexorable mojo, and, lo, the Miracle of Life occurs (Well, after some confusion over contraception.) So, confronted with the fact of a baby on the way, Alison and Ben start over again, and try to ascertain if a drunken one-night stand between two seemingly incompatible people can form the basis for…well, anything, really. A healthy relationship would be nice.

Some intermittently funny, gross-out juvenilia notwithstanding (for example, the unsavory reasons for a pink-eye epidemic among Ben’s crew), Knocked Up actually turns out to be one of the most adult comedies I’ve seen in years. As seen on F&G, Apatow (and his wife, Mann) clearly have a keen ear for relationships and how they work — or don’t. As such, the story of Ben & Alison — and its counterpart down the line, of Leslie & Pete — feel breathtakingly real most of the time, both in the unspoken details of the courting (Allison is seen wearing Ben’s hipster t-shirts later on in the movie, Ben quietly switches to collars) and the axes of fracture that emerge among the couples (for example, the dark secret Pete hides from his wife and family — you’ll see.)

Among other things, Knocked Up perfectly captures how an innocuous statement about other people’s troubles all too often weirdly conflagrates into a knock-down drag-out with your significant other, or how we all tend to harbor past grievances to use as talking points when the time is right, only to regret it deeply later (Note Allison on Ben’s weed habits, or when Ben decides to reveal the sex of the child.) And the film not only captures certain fundamental relationship dynamics — see also Debbie on Spiderman 3, or on how she gets her husband to change — but also how, even in the midst of these well-worn tropes, individual people are invariably complicated and surprising. (In fact, the only detail that rang really false to me is Ben and Pete celebrating their male independence by going to see Cirque de Soleil in Vegas psychoactively enhanced. Cirque de Soleil…really?) Throw in a slew of knowing pop culture references throughout — Matthew Fox, James Gandolfini, Robin Williams’ knuckles, Serpico, and Cat Stevens are all punch lines at one point or another — and I was sold hook, line, and sinker. In short, Knocked Up will all too likely be the comedy of the summer, if not one for the ages, and — particularly if you’ve been privy to the dating/marriage world in recent years — it’s worth at the very least a one-night stand.

It’s Alright Ma, It’s Life and Life Only.

“A question in your nerves is lit, yet you know there is no answer fit.” To the consternation of many, David Chase ends eight years and six seasons of The Sopranos with a cut-to-black and (more problematically, to my ears) Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.” (Obviously, I preferred the soundtrack to AJ’s exploding SUV.)

I too thought the cut was a bit abrupt at first, but, after awhile, it grew on me. Life goes on at the Sopranos compound much as it has this past age, with a piano hanging ominously over Tony’s head and Carm, Meadow, and even the recently-awakening AJ all once again at peace with his ill-gotten mobster gains, thanks to the “Made in America” trifecta of denial, materialism, and onion rings.

Six seasons of talk therapy notwithstanding, people on The Sopranos (as in our world) never tended to change much, nor did they usually receive any comeuppance for their bad behavior (although Phil Leotardo might have something to say about that.) So Tony, still the king of his castle for now, blasting Steve Perry and looking over his shoulder, seems as good a way to end the show as any. If you’d prefer to see him go down in a hail of bullets, you can imagine it thus. More likely, to my mind, is he either ended up like Johnny Sack, withering away in prison, or Uncle Junior, withering away out of prison. Either way, the larger world ultimately has little use for Tony’s deeds and misdeeds, and will eventually forget him as it forgets everything. (As Tony lamented several times, “What ever happened to Gary Cooper?”)

Nevertheless, as The Sopranos often reminded us, the end can come at any moment — and it will come — so enjoy the good times and take what solace from life as you can, be it from a family of ducks in your swimming pool, a Beamer that gets 28 miles in the city, or a nerve-wracking family dinner at Holsten’s.

Requiem for North Jersey.

“‘It’s going to be controversial, it’s going to be talked-about,’ Van Zandt, whose character ran the notorious Bada Bing strip club, told the Los Angeles Times this week.” Meanwhile, regarding a criminal held more fondly in the nation’s esteem than Libby or Jefferson: One way or another, the end comes for Tony Soprano this Sunday night. I wouldn’t presume to guess what doom David Chase et al have in store for Tony in the final hour, although I suspect it’ll be something he — and we — didn’t see coming.

Full of Passionate Intensity.

“The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned.” (Well, except in the Sopranos’ pool, since AJ can’t even tie a cinder block properly.) With last week’s murder, a war with Phil Leotardo breaking out over slights to Meadow, AJ’s botched suicide attempt, and only two episodes to go, The Sopranos moves into progressively darker territory.

Tony in Freefall.

There is no pain, he is receding…With last night’s chilling episode (and only three more to go), Tony Soprano’s descent seems to gain momentum (and a major character met a surprising end.) I’m still confused as to what to make of Tony’s peyote-induced realization in the final moments of the episode. Thoughts?

Twenty-Five for Fanboys.

EW lists the top 25 sci-fi offerings (in tv and film) of the past twenty-five years. Pretty arbitrary, really, but it includes Brazil (at #6), BSG (at #2 — these two should have switched places), Children of Men (#14), Eternal Sunshine (#17 — same problem), Aliens (#9), The Thing (#10), The X-Files (#4), Galaxy Quest (#24), and Blade Runner (#3), so it’s by no means a bad list. (Both Lost and Heroes should be replaced, however.) Just from what’s missing above, you can probably guess #1…can’t you, Mr. Anderson?