So I finally received the Bowlingual translator that Berk earned a few months ago and…well, as you might expect, it’s a bust. Unless I’ve been wildly misreading Berk’s behavior for years now, the translator appears to be randomly guessing, with the same string of barks eliciting diametrically opposed emotions. In other words, it’s useless, unless you really want to interact with your dog via a Tamagotchi. (Although, to be fair, when I just had to crate Berk for a slew of barks at a dog on the street, the Bowlingual responded, “You just don’t get it.”) That might in fact be true.