It’s Clobbering Time.

In case you never saw the 20-sec promo last week, the full-on Fantastic Four trailer is online now and, well, what is there to say, really? Like Spiderman and X-Men, The Fantastic Four is one of Marvel’s signature franchises…so I’m surprised how leaden this one’s turning out. In no way does this look or feel like FF to me, with the possible exception of Michael Chiklis’ early-Kirby Thing look. Turning Doom into a deranged budget Emperor Palpatine was a particularly bad call.

Speaking of which, not to get too old-school fanboy up in here, but what is Julian McMahon doing with them up there in space anyway? (And what’s with the space station? I seem to remember a 4-seater test shuttle…don’t fix it if it ain’t broke, y’all.) Oof, I’ve got a bad feeling about this…could this actually end up being worse than The Hulk?

Great Caesar’s Ghost.

Quite a bit of new comic-to-film news today: Hugh Laurie and James Marsden join Superman as Daily Planet editor Perry White and Richard White (Lois’s non-Super love interest) respectively, the Dark Knight cradles Katie Holmes in this new EW pic from Batman Begins, and 20 seconds of the new FF trailer appear online (along with this shot of The Thing, also from the new EW.) I know I keep piling bad vibes on this project, but really, the litany of hard-to-discern FX shots coupled with the “Kick out the Jams”-style whiteboy-angst-metal does nothing for me.

Flame On.

20th Century Fox tries to counter that burning train wreck smell (the latest word: $20 million in additional effects and a de-Incredibles script rewrite) by offering a behind-the-scenes look at Fantastic Four with Stan Lee. Nope, still not feeling it.

Not-so-Incredibles.

Trouble’s still brewing at the Baxter Building…Superhero Hype gets an exclusive pic of the Fantastic Four and, man, they look goofy. What’s happened to Marvel? The difference between this and Batman Begins (whose new trailer premieres this weekend) is night and day right now.

Four on the Floor.

Lots of Fantastic Four news milling about today…Entertainment Tonight shows an early preview, while HNR obtains several pics of The Thing in costume…I’ll admit, Ben Grimm’s look is growing on me, even if he still seems a little Toxie.

Invisible Touch.

As The Fantastic Four begins shooting, USA Today posts this shot of Jessica “Honey Daniels” Alba as the Invisible Woman, and SuperHeroHype has kindly scanned in the rest of the cast. I must admit, Alba looks more like the character than I originally suspected — indeed, she may be the closest fit of these four: Ioan Gruffudd’s Mr. Fantastic looks too young, Chris Evans’s The Human Torch looks nothing like Johnny Storm, and Michael Chiklis’s Thing…well, I’m thinking Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein at the moment. Update: High-quality versions of all four are now up.

Stormy Weather.

In comic film news, Halle Berry drops out of X3, because, as her agent puts it, Berry’s “an Oscar winner and she wants roles that test her.” Yeah, like Catwoman. She may be replaced by former FF contender Christina Milian. Speaking of which, the same article also announces the current short list for FF casting: Ioan Gruffudd (Lancelot of King Arthur) as Mr. Fantastic (maybe…seems a little too young), Rachel McAdams (The Notebook and Mean Girls, y’all) as Sue Storm (that definitely could work), Chris Evans (Not Another Teen Movie) as the Human Torch (ok, whatever, this could be any young actor), and Michael Chiklis (The Shield) as The Thing (depends on the makeup.) Update: Apparently, 3 of these 4 are now signed, with only Invisible Girl left to cast, and Jessica Alba’s making a run for it.

Also regarding X3, will Jessica Simpson play Dazzler? Well, it might work as a Colossus-type cameo. I can think of at least two dozen other muties I’d prefer to see as leads, though.