The world’s coolest hound (and no, I’m not talking about any old affenpinscher) is not on the market. But if you’re looking for a canine companion, you could probably do worse than Chuck Norris. “Chuck Norris understands and approves of occasionally hanging out in a crate to protect the rest of the world from the power of his amazing…Chuck Norris invented the army crawl. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.”