Just a Fool’s Hope…

A special treat today…At long last, a Return of the King trailer! Judging from the lines and the lack of New Line stamp at the beginning, this looks to be the trailer included on the theatrical version of the Two Towers DVD, to be released August 26. And it looks GREAT!

Update: They’ve stolen the preciousss! Fortunately, I was one of the lucky ones who obtained a copy before New Line dropped the hammer. ‘Tis really a beauteous thing.

Update 2: I’m getting a number of e-mails from people asking me to send them the trailer. This won’t happen. My advice is (a) go here or here, (b) if they don’t work, check out the comments in this AICN thread for a new location (beware major spoilers), and/or (c) fire up Kazaa.

Ballad of a Thin Man.

So I went down to the Angelika yesterday afternoon (always a strange experience – you can hear and feel the subway running under you during films) to catch Masked and Anonymous and, well, I can only recommend this film to two types of people: Hard-core Dylanologists, and those cinema completists who need to see Ed Harris in blackface. I consider myself a pretty heavy-duty Dylan fan, and even I was a bit bored at certain points. The movie is basically Dylan’s version of Waking Life, or what might happen if Bob had entered his own portal a la Being John Malkovich. All of the characters in the film speak in Dylanistic soliloquys (You actually get a very good sense of this from the website), and thus you end up with Giovanni Ribisi’s disquisition on war, Val Kilmer’s take on animals, etc. The movie takes place in a strange alternate present, where (I’m guessing) the revolutions of the Sixties went sour and ended up tearing the nation apart. Dylan’s dad seems to be the ailing leader of the Bearflag Republic or something, and…well, there’s no point in trying to explain it.

The movie is basically an extended riff on Dylan and Dylania…at (brief) moments it has the scope and absurdist grandeur of “Desolation Row,” “Idiot Wind,” or “It’s Alright Ma.” And some of the renditions of Dylan’s music, from the new “One More Cup of Coffee” to the acapella “The Times, They Are a Changin’” are truly beautiful. Most of the time, however, it fails to capture Dylan’s spark, and comes off flat and, well, embarrassing (particularly in some of the more questionable racial choices.) I think the extended monologues on life, death, and humanity are meant to have you dwell on the fundamental questions, but as the movie wore on I found myself contemplating altogether different queries: Did Chris Penn eat one of the Baldwins? Who would win in a caged deathmatch between Penelope Cruz and Audrey Tautou? Who knew it would end so badly between Walter and the Dude? When did Mickey Rourke turn into Billy Bob Thornton? So on, so on. I guess I’d recommend that Dylan fans see this film (particularly if you’ve sat through Renaldo & Clara), just to see where our man is at these days. (In fact, some Dylan fans seem to love it.) All in all, though, I can’t say I recommend the film as a film.

On another note, in the two hours I had to kill between this movie and seeing a friend’s (very good) band at the Baggot Inn, I stumbled upon a huge line at Tower Records, dutifully waiting to get Dave Gahan‘s signature. Times change, I guess. Ten years ago, I probably would have staked out this line with a handful of vinyl 12″ DM singles. Nowadays, I just skipped it in favor of Forbidden Planet and The Strand. Must be getting old.

Here Comes the Reign Again.

Although not as much news about Return of the King leaked out from Comiccon as I would have liked, ex-Eurythmics siren Annie Lennox has announced she’s singing on the “title” track (like Enya [“May it Be”] and Emiliana Torrini [“Gollum’s Song”] before her.) Well, I prefer this to the Liv Tyler song rumor that went around a few months back, even if that is a bit unfair (I’ve never heard Tyler sing.) Perhaps they’ll both make the final cut.

The Thick Red Line.

Only six years after The Thin Red Line, Terrence Malick readies his fourth film, Che, tentatively with Benicio Del Toro in the title role. (Expect voiceovers.) I just watched TTRL again the other night and was amazed once again how many people are in it. I remembered Jim Caviezel, John Cusack, Woody Harrelson, John Travolta, George Clooney, John C. Reilly, Ben Chaplin, Nick Nolte, Adrien Brody, Sean Penn, and Elias Koteas from the first go-round in the theater. But seeing it again this week, I now also noticed Tim Blake Nelson, Nick Stahl, Jared Leto, Matt Doran (Mouse from The Matrix), and Thomas Jane — plus Miranda Otto as Chaplin’s wayward wife on the homefront. I’d love to see the unreleased six-hour version someday (which, according to the credits, apparently also includes Viggo Mortensen, Mickey Rourke, Lukas Haas, Billy Bob Thornton, Bill Pullman, Jason Patric, Martin Sheen, Donal Logue, Randall Duk Kim [The Keymaker from Reloaded], and a full-on performance by Brody), even if it ends up being too much for one sitting.

Cleaved.

Hmmm…the rumor’s been around for a few weeks, but it’s finally been confirmed: Tarantino’s Kill Bill is being split in two. Something smells fishy to me. Even as a QT fan back in the day, I thought the first trailer for this (excuse me, these) film(s) was really blah. Is Harvey Weinstein forcing a return on what’s starting to look like a dodgy property? I guess we’ll have to spend twice as much to find out.

Subordinary.

Hello all…back from Toronto (Seemed like a great town…wish I’d had more time to look around) with nary a muscle ache or fever. Also caught The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen this evening. I didn’t find it as terrible as all the reviews made it out to be, but Lord knows it’s pretty bad. I suspect that even if the screenwriters had attempted something closer to Alan Moore’s work, Sean Connery would still kill the movie with his awful Sean Connery impression. And the story, as Ebert notes, is absolutely nonsensical. Peta Wilson, Richard Roxburgh, Jason Flemyng, and Stuart Townsend all acquit themselves well, I suppose, although the latter reminded me once again of why he would’ve made a lousy Aragorn. And as for Tom Sawyer…well, the less said the better. To be honest, I expected much more of Stephen Norrington after Blade. All in all, I’d say skip it.