Delicate Dick.

“‘Frankly, I was offended by it,’ Cheney said in the videotaped interview. ‘For Amnesty International to suggest that somehow the United States is a violator of human rights, I frankly just don’t take them seriously.'” Awww. Our thin-skinned veep’s feelings are hurt by an Amnesty International report claiming all is not kosher at Guantanamo Bay. Well, as a colleague of mine noted, perhaps someone should fill Dick in on Abu Ghraib (or, for that matter, countless other episodes in US history, from chattel slavery to the Trail of Tears.) For his part, the president of Amnesty responded: “It doesn’t matter whether he takes Amnesty International seriously. He doesn’t take torture seriously; he doesn’t take the Geneva Convention seriously; he doesn’t take due process rights seriously; and he doesn’t take international law seriously. And that is more important than whether he takes Amnesty International seriously.” Touche. (FWIW, the WP cried foul as well.)

Oh, you mean that Koran.

While the toilet incident that got Newsweek in trouble was emphatically denied, the Pentagon announces — after the release of FBI interviews obtained by the ACLU — that there have in fact been incidents of Koran mistreatment at Gitmo. (Surprise, surprise.) While “the interviews underscore that U.S. government officials were made aware of allegations of prisoner abuse and Koran mistreatment within months of the opening of Guantanamo Bay in early 2002“, just last week “Pentagon spokesman Lawrence T. Di Rita said the Defense Department had received no credible claims of such abuse.

I can see my house from here…

To the consternation of some privacy advocates, Google unveils its funky new satellite map feature. I’m not too worried yet — the images are apparently between 6-12 months old…but wait, isn’t that Berk and I frolicing in Riverside Park? (Direct link via Supercres.) Update: In keeping with the meme (seen at Girlhacker), here’s home from above. This satellite image is at least a year old, as attested by the missing Columbia School for Social Work across the street — it’s been completed since last summer.

Papal Ascension.

Well, you may have missed it after all the hoopla surrounding the recent deaths of comedian Mitch Hedberg (who’s responsible for the only really funny experience I’ve ever had in a comedy club) and civil liberties pioneer Fred Korematsu, but apparently Pope John Paul II was called up to the Head Office over the weekend. Since it’s not being reported anywhere, really, I thought I should at least mention it.

At any rate, now the search for a successor begins in earnest, one that might well have considerable ramifications for US politics (although, unfortunately, a progressive pope seems unlikely.) Well, just don’t put the aardvark in charge, and let’s keep Lord Papal away from the chair, shall we?

Ashcroft with a Smile.

Second verse, same as the first…New Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez outlined Justice Department priorities in his first policy speech yesterday, and it looks to be more of the same: extending the Patriot Act, strengthening anti-obscenity laws, deporting immigrants, and fixing the “broken system” whereby Senate Dems fulfill their constitutional obligations and vote up or down on Dubya’s freak-show judicial nominees. So, as we all feared, it’s Ashcroft all over again. But will Gonzalez at least undrape the Justice Department statuary?

Stay Scared.

“We must not allow the passage of time or the illusion of safety to weaken our resolve in this new war.” Dubya uses the swearing-in of crony Alberto Gonzalez as Attorney General to pull a Two-Minutes-Fear and shill for a blanket extension of the Patriot Act. With even GOP conservatives against some provisions of the Act at this point, not bloody likely.

Out with the old, in with the…old.

“To those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists, for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve.” After outgoing Attorney General John Ashcroft showed his true colors one last time, incoming Homeland Security head (and former admin torture guru) Michael Chertoff promises to keep an eye to civil liberties at his confirmation hearings. Hmm…I’d have more faith in his espoused concern if he hadn’t already ignored the in-house Justice Dept. ethics office (and lied about it) in the past.

Gutting Gitmo.

In a boon for civil liberties, federal judge Joyce Hens Green declares that the incarcerations at Guantanamo are illegal, since the military tribunals set up by the Bushies violated due process. “In today’s decision, Green said the hearings, called Combatant Status Review Tribunals, are stacked against the detainees, and deny them crucial rights. She said some detainees may indeed be guilty and pose a danger to the United States, but the government must first give them a lawful hearing on the evidence against them.” The judge also called out the Gitmo Gulag on its torture policies and excessively broad definition of “enemy combatant.”

Check it with Chertoff.

Rick Perlstein’s recent comparison of Dubya and The Sopranos is given more credence with the revelation that Homeland Security nominee Michael Chertoff also vetted torture law for the Bushies in 2002-2003. “While the details remain classified, one method that he opposed appeared to violate a ban in the law against using a ‘threat of imminent death’…But Mr. Chertoff left the door open to the use of a different set of far harsher techniques proposed by the C.I.A.” Hmmm…and you thought Tom Ridge knew some crazy uses for duct tape.

Dubya’s Man at Justice.

“Alberto Gonzales has paved the way of his own advancement with memos that are intellectually slovenly, that impute definitive powers to the executive, and whose attempts at shirking the basic moral precepts of international humanitarian law are not very skillful. If he is confirmed as attorney general, our nation will be shamed, shunned and endangered.” As the Gonzales hearings begin on Capitol Hill, Salon does an able job of exposing his egregious yes-man tendencies in both the torture memos and, previously, in managing Governor Dubya’s execution sprees. Update: Yet, the Dems roll over.