Tag: Dogs

Dubya to the Dogs.

While authorization for attack dog intimidation techniques implicate intelligence higher-ups in the horrors of Abu Ghraib, Bush gets legalistic to (not) explain the pro-torture policies emanating from his administration. Hmmm. I bet the White House is wishing Reagan could die every week right now.

I am not an animal…ok, maybe I am.

“The border collie, a breed known primarily for its herding ability, was able to go to the room with the toys and, seven times out of 10, bring back the one he had not seen before. The dog seemingly understood that because he knew the names of all the other toys, the new one must be the one with the unfamiliar name.” New research suggests that dogs understand language quicker than we think. Duh…You should see how fast Berk learned the menu at KFC/Taco Bell.

Lost in Translation.

So I finally received the Bowlingual translator that Berk earned a few months ago and…well, as you might expect, it’s a bust. Unless I’ve been wildly misreading Berk’s behavior for years now, the translator appears to be randomly guessing, with the same string of barks eliciting diametrically opposed emotions. In other words, it’s useless, unless you really want to interact with your dog via a Tamagotchi. (Although, to be fair, when I just had to crate Berk for a slew of barks at a dog on the street, the Bowlingual responded, “You just don’t get it.”) That might in fact be true.

Less Money, Mo. Problems.

Dubya ventures to the Midwest to hype the jobless recovery in Kansas City, site of 10,000 recent telecom layoffs. Perhaps he’d do better to sell his tax writeoff plan for the wealthy to a swing state it’s actually helped…that is, if he can find one. (In almost completely unrelated news, Doglover Dubya, via High Industrial.)

Finding your Power Human.

“The idea is to figure out what a dog was born to do — herd, hunt, retrieve, sit decoratively on laps — and find ways to do it.” Slate examines the burgeoning world of dog fulfillment. What Berk was emphatically not born to do was spend three weeks in a kennel, but ah well. These are trying times. He’s been in the joint before…he can handle it. (And, while I’m on the subject of canines, I also enjoyed this self-medicating dog story from Drudge.)

From sweatshops to dogfights.

Nike receives some bad press for paying homage to dogfighting in its new basketball ad (“The Battle: Speed,” available here once you get past the flash.) My reaction was much the same as the guy from Slate: I generally liked the ad and liked the music (even if I thought Gary Payton would kill Steve Nash in 1-on-1), right up until the shot of the pit bulls going at it at the end. Since my own dog was mauled by a pit bull owned by some dumb-ass kids aspiring to this side of street life (4/15), I also found that shot to be in very, very poor taste. I would say I’d boycott Nike for it, but I pretty much already do – I generally buy Sambas or Pumas for my daily gear, and the And-One Sprewells for my basketball kicks. (In fact, I used to have a pair of the Nike GP’s, and they fell apart on me.) At any rate, a bad call by the boys in Beaverton.

Berk earns his keep.

So I just got back from a rather lucrative 1-hour “dog psychology” marketing session in Uris Hall (a.k.a. the Columbia business school), which I signed up for after seeing a flyer earlier in the week. For one hour of hypothesizing what Berkeley would say in various situations, I got a free lunch, $50 in cold, hard cash (we’re going to have to make a trip to the pet store), and a coupon for a free (and somewhat goofy) $120 Bowlingual dog translator, to be redeemed when they arrive Stateside in August. Apparently they’re trying to come up with a stock of English phrases for the US release. So, if you happen to buy one of these and it tells you your canine is saying things like “I defy you,” “The madness has come upon me,” and “Your coming here is as the footsteps of doom,” you’ll know why.