That Foul-Mouthed Doctor..Who?

“His briefing notes were written in alphabetti spaghetti! When I left, I nearly tripped up over his f**king umbilical cord…Apparently, your f**king master race of highly-gifted toddlers can’t quite get the job done between breast feeds and playing with their Power Rangers. So, an actual grown-up has been asked to f**king bail you out!”

Sorry, Anthony Weiner’s Comm Director, you’re doing it wrong (although TPM should’ve obviously known that unfortunate rant was off-the-record.) In any case, Buzzfeed offers 21 Simple Ways to Swear Like Malcolm Tucker. Is this something Doctor #12 might have to keep in mind…?

Update: “‘It’s so wonderful not to keep this secret any longer, but it’s been so fantastic,’ he said after the news was revealed on a live BBC One show.” Capaldi it is. Great choice, and he’s a longtime Dr. Who fanboy to boot.

They Stand Watch.

“As the world’s leading full-spectrum genetic security and containment company, Trask Industries continues to uncover new ways to control the mounting X-gene threat…Our goal is to solve tomorrow’s problems, today.”

Following up on last week’s posters, the X-Men: Days of Future Past viral campaign kicks off with a spiffy corporate website and commercial for Trask Industries (Note Peter Dinklage, in period ‘stache), along the lines of the pre-Prometheus commercial for David — and we all know how Prometheus turned out. Still I’m a sucker for Watchmen-style alternate history, like the Sentinel presiding over Ronald Reagan’s inauguration, above.

Pics of Future Past.

Another from the Comic-Con stash: After some early footage screens in San Diego, two posters for Bryan Singer’s X-Men: Days of Future Past pop up online. That’s Professor X (Patrick Stewart and James McAvoy) at left, Magneto (Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender) at right.

The Eyes of the White Tower.

“Consider the basic premise of Tolkien’s trilogy: a small group of dedicated subversives willing to sacrifice their lives slips in under the surveillance system of a great power, blends in with an alien population, and delivers a devastating blow to the heart of its empire, leaving its security forces in disarray and its populace terrified. Even a tower or two crumbles to dust.”

You know of what I speak, Snowden…a Great Eye, lidless, wreathed in flame. From the bookmarks, academics David Rosen and Aaron Santesso employ Tolkien to explain the modern surveillance state. “[I]n Sauron, Tolkien is able to imagine a figure of godlike power and seemingly infinite resources, but crippling interpretive fallibility.”

A bit overwrought, perhaps, but food for thought. And they neglected to mention another telling similarity: The hearts of Men are easily corrupted.

Age of Fandom.


Among the two biggest reveals at this year’s San Diego Comic-Con: Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel 2 will feature a Bat-Man (although not Christian Bale) and Thanos, teased at the end of the first film, is apparently stepping aside for the time being for Joss Whedon’s Avengers 2: Age of Ultron, based on a Brian Michael Bendis run happening this year.

All well and good, I suppose, and more indication that comic fandom is now completely mainstream. Still, while I have high hopes for the amiable weirdness currently surrounding James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy, it sure feels like Hollywood is churning out a lot of mediocre, uninspired, and by-the-numbers product this year.

Maybe I’m just getting old, and I suppose Shane Black’s Iron Man 3 was decent enough fun, but I found both Star Trek: Into Darkness and Man of Steel loud, dumb, and disappointing, to the point where I haven’t felt all that inclined to pony up for World War Z and Pacific Rim, which looks like more of the same: smash-mouth visuals struggling to overcome dismal writing, and 9/11y spectacle used for fake-gravitas.

Hopefully Elysium will give this summer an Inception-like jolt. As it is, we’re halfway through 2013 and the only must-see film I’ve caught is Before Midnight.

The Eleventh Hour.

“Every day, on every episode, in every set of rushes, Matt Smith surprised me: the way he’d turn a line, or spin on his heels, or make something funny, or out of nowhere make me cry, I just never knew what was coming next. The Doctor can be clown and hero, often at the same time, and Matt rose to both challenges magnificently.”

Get out the crane, regeneration time again: Who is it this time? After four years in the bowtie, Eleventh Doctor Matt Smith is calling it quits “It’s been an honor to play this part, to follow the legacy of brilliant actors, and helm the TARDIS for a spell with ‘the ginger, the nose and the impossible one’. But when ya gotta go, ya gotta go and Trenzalore calls.”

I had doubts about his casting at first, but I have to say, Smith really nailed the part these past few years. When the show was not at its best — and, let’s face it, the quality’s been patchier than anticipated thus far in the Moffatt era — it was almost always the writing who let this Doctor down, not the reverse. He’s right up there at the top of my list with Baker and Pertwee.

Of course, this means we’ll see an all-new 12th incarnation at the end of this year’s Christmas special. (Or is it 13th? Only John Hurt knows.) Given that the usual high-profile and/or out-of-the-box choices — Idris Elba, Bill Nighy, David Morrissey, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Helen Mirren — turned out to be wrong last time around (although all of those would be intriguing choices), I’ll start the bidding with…Paul Kaye?

Update: Cryptonaut offers a few other options. Olivia Williams ftw.

Red Bricks Standing By.

“This has been a wild and exciting project for us, and it’s taken an international team of designers, engineers, structural consultants, model builders, and logistics personal over a year to bring this model from a conception to reality,’ Varszegi said in an email. ‘In one respect, designing it was the ‘easy’ part, as we were creating a scaled version of an actual toy construction set.'”

It may not have the detail of Lego Hogwarts, but pretty cool nonetheless: A life-size Lego X-Wing is unveiled in Times Square. “The model…has a wingspan of 44 feet and comes complete with R2-D2 and a full range of sound effects…[It] was made with 5,335,200 Lego bricks. That, according to Lego, makes it the largest model ever built, eclipsing the Lego robot at the Mall of America by some 2 million bricks.”

Kneel Before Zod.


“My name is General Zod. I have crossed an ocean of stars to reach you. Your world has sheltered one of my citizens…To Kal-El, I say this: Surrender within 24 hours, or watch this world suffer the consequences.” I’ve been hard on the Man of Steel trailers to this point, so credit where due: I really like this one — Great sound mixing, and Michael Shannon seems like he’s going to be a good deal of fun.

Eyes of the Tiger.

“No one should deny themselves their own weirdness. Calvin is never afraid to boldly declare his weirdness, even when doing so results in his classmates ostracizing him and his teachers and parents disciplining him. To act any other way, to be any other person, is an option that never even enters his head.”

10 Life Lessons from Calvin & Hobbes. A bit cloying at times, but hey, the world always needs more posts about Calvin & Hobbes. Also, if you can’t imagine yourself a tiger buddy for these, a crazy sheltie will also do.