Speaking Truthiness to Power.

“I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.” In a must-watch (or at least must-read) event, the inimitable Stephen Colbert took it to Dubya hard at last night’s White House Correspondent’s dinner, and Bush, according to press reports, was not amused. Great stuff throughout:

* “I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible — I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical. And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be it Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe our infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.“

* “Now, I know there’s some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in ‘reality.’ And reality has a well-known liberal bias…Sir pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it’s 2/3 empty. There’s still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn’t drink it. The last third is usually backwash.“

* “I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.“

* “I’m sorry, but this reading initiative. I’ve never been a fan of books. I don’t trust them. They’re all fact, no heart. I mean, they’re elitist telling us what is or isn’t true, what did or didn’t happen. What’s Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914. If I want to say it was built in 1941, that’s my right as an American. I’m with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen. The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday, that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday.“

* “But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on N.S.A. wiretapping or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason, they’re superdepressing. And if that’s your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn’t want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.“

* “But, listen, let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works. The President makes decisions, he’s the decider. The Press Secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know, fiction.“

* “I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write they’re just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.“

* “See who we’ve got here tonight. General Mowsly, Air Force Chief of Staff. General Peter Pace. They still support Rumsfeld. You guys aren’t retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld.“

* “Jesse Jackson is here. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he’s going to say what he wants at the pace that he wants. It’s like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.” (Note: YouTube has smaller clips, too.)

Warrantless? Try Cashless.

“‘Institutionally, the presidency is walking all over Congress at the moment.’ Specter, R-Pennsylvania, told the panel. ‘If we are to maintain our institutional prerogative, that may be the only way we can do it.‘” Fed up with White House stonewalling regarding the illegal NSA wiretaps (and likely emboldened by Dubya’s grotesquely bad poll numbers), Arlen Specter threatens to cut off the program’s funding.

Fie on FEMA.

“The eight-month, bipartisan investigation’s central finding is that FEMA should be replaced by a new National Preparedness and Response Authority. Its head would report to the secretary of Homeland Security but serve as the president’s top adviser for national emergency matters, akin to the military role played by the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.” As hurricane season nears, the future of FEMA becomes a political football between the Senate (who favors abolishing it) and the White House (who doesn’t.) The Senate report also “singled out President Bush and the White House as appearing indifferent to the devastation until two days after the storm hit.“

Paging William Fulbright.

“‘The current debate over our national security by a series of retired generals — some critical, some supportive of the present leadership in the Department of Defense — is an important exercise of the right to freedom of speech,’ he said. ‘Another valued tenet is the right of the president to select the members of his own Cabinet.'” Senate Armed Service Committee chairman John Warner (R-VA) makes noise about holding Senate hearings on Rumsfeld. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Gouge Away.

Feeling the heat from his nose-diving poll numbers (and spurred by GOP congressional leaders’ desperate pleas for political cover), Dubya announces a probe into high oil prices (and sings the praises of ethanol like it was a week before the Iowa primary.) Ok, but if our oilman–president (who, to be fair, failed at both callings) really wants to get the bottom of the situation, it’d be nice if he’d look into not only oil company price-gouging but also exactly what went on at Cheney’s infamous Energy Task Force meetings…

White House Snow Job.

So it’s looking increasingly likely that Tony Snow of FOX News will replace Scott McClellan as White House press secretary. Good of ’em to eliminate the middleman — Why filter the ridiculous right-wing spin through your in-pocket cable news network, when you can just spout the garbage directly from the Brady Room of the West Wing? Update: Snow takes the job.

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

“This is certainly not the first time that politics has trumped science at the FDA. Another recent example: the agency’s decision to block over-the-counter availability for emergency contraceptives in the face of overwhelming evidence that the treatment is safe and effective…From my standpoint as a doctor, the question is this: What do you do when federal agencies become so politicized that their recommendations can’t necessarily be trusted?” In Slate, pediatrician Sydney Spiesel begins to doubt the FDA’s credibility these days, particularly after their recent and apparently blatantly political decision against medicinal marijuana. “Marijuana as a medicine — whatever its risk and benefits are eventually determined to be — may turn out to be much less important than the question of whether we can count on agencies like the FDA to be honest in their dealings.”

Five for Fighting.

TIME Magazine unveils Josh Bolten’s new five-point plan for righting the Dubya presidency: 1) Act tough on immigration with “guns and badges”; 2) Humor Wall Street with extensions on capital gains and dividend tax cuts; 3) “brag more”; 4) Talk tough at Iran; and 5) play nice with the press. So, wait, we’re going to war with Iran just so Bolten can squeeze six more months out of lame duck Dubya? Brilliant.

Crisis of the New Order.

“Observers describe Bush as ‘messianic’ in his conviction that he is fulfilling the divine purpose. But, as Lincoln observed in his second inaugural address, ‘The Almighty has His own purposes.’ Invoking also Lincoln’s remarks on the Mexican War, historian Arthur Schlesinger, Jr. laments the rise of preemption, senses dark forebodings in Dubya’s saber-rattling with Iran, and concludes that “there is no more dangerous thing for a democracy than a foreign policy based on presidential preventive war.”

Whistle Blown.

“[Y]ou have somebody being fired from the CIA for allegedly telling the truth, and you have no one fired from the White House for revealing a CIA agent in order to support a lie. That underscores what’s really wrong in Washington, D.C.” Following the recent dismissal of CIA historian and Africa specialist Mary McCarthy for telling the Post about our secret gulags, several Dems, including John Kerry and Rep. Jane Harman, question the Dubya double standard regarding leaks. Update: Was it not McCarthy after all?