The Golden Rumpus.

“‘I’d like to quash this ridiculous rumor going around that the only reason ‘The Tourist‘ was nominated was so the Hollywood Foreign Press could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie,’ he continued. ‘That is rubbish. That is not the only reason. They also accepted bribes.’“

With a merciless (and very funny) Ricky Gervais at the helm, the Golden Globes were once again distributed to the worthy last Sunday, including The Social Network and David Fincher, Colin Firth (The King’s Speech), Natalie Portman (Black Swan), Christian Bale and Melissa Leo (The Fighter), and, as Best Comedy, The Kids are All Right.) I’m actually fine with all of those picks — That’s a much better hit rate than usual for the Globes.

“Deal with It, Cate Blanchett!”

“We really weren’t expecting to be here in America at all at one time so it’s just amazing to be standing here.” As you probably know, the HFPA doled out the Golden Globes last night, with Kate Winslet, 30 Rock, and Slumdog Millionaire the big winners of the evening. (Heath Ledger also picked up a much-deserved posthumous award for The Dark Knight.)

The highlights of the evening: Best Actor winner for The Wrestler and comeback kid Mickey Rourke giving credit where it’s due: ““It’s been a very long road back for me…Sometimes when you’re alone, all you got is your dog and they meant the world to me.” (Amen, brother.) The out-of-left-field Tracey Morgan riff referenced in the post title. (“I am the face of post-racial America. Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!“) And Ricky Gervais, pint in hand, riffing on Holocaust films — “See, Kate? I told you!” — and deftly skewering the whole process. “I can’t believe I’m not nominated. What a waste of a campaign. Today is the last time I have sex with 200 middle-age journalists. It was horrible. Really. A lot of them didn’t even speak English. Europeans with wispy beards. The men were worse.“

As far as the GitM 2008 write-up goes, it’ll be a few weeks yet, as I’m still waiting for Frost/Nixon, The Wrestler, and Revolutionary Road to open here. But, sorry, y’all — I’m taking a pass on Slumdog Millionaire. I’m sure it’s as wonderful and uplifting as everyone says, but that game show, for reasons I’m not going to go into here, conjures up very specific memories of one of my more painful break-ups, and I know enough about the film to know that at the moment, much like Sideways or Punch-Drunk Love, I’m just going to end up tremendously irritated by it.

Besides, when it comes to works of fantasy, I tend to prefer stories of elves, superheroes, vampires, and the like to tales of ordinary people-like-you-and-me achieving stupendous, wildly unlikely victories against the odds. Because, at least in the former case, you won’t usually leave the theater thinking elves and vampires might actually exist, while tales of improbable good fortune, imho, tend to encourage misguided notions about the world. In other words, see enough movies about ridiculously lucky people (however tempered, as I hear it is in this case, by Mumbai back-alley nightmares) and your expectations about life will get all kinds of screwed up. I’m just not in the mood for it.

The Gold Night.

The nominees for the 2008 Golden Globes are announced, with David Fincher’s Benjamin Button, John Patrick Shanley’s Doubt, and Ron Howard’s Frost/Nixon leading the pack with five nods each. I’ve been feeling way behind on my moviegoing all year, so I’m glad to see that all of the best drama nominees (Button, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog Millionaire, Frost/Nixon, The Reader), as well as some of the closer also-rans (Milk, Doubt, The Wrestler) are films that aren’t out yet here. So, since i can’t as yet speak knowledgably about any of the contenders, i’ll hold off on my picks until closer to the big night.

Going into the awards stretch, my favorite film of the year is probably still The Dark Knight (with WALL-E running at 2nd), so I was also glad to see Heath Ledger get his due today. Would that he were around to see it.

Invisible Spinning Globes.

If they hold an awards ceremony in the middle of the ‘Wood and there’s no around to hear it, does it make a sound? Why, yes, yes, it does. And the Golden Globe winners are…

Best Drama: Atonement. Uh, no. My top drama would’ve been No Country for Old Men.

Best Com/Mus: Sweeney Todd. Didn’t see it. Not even a nod for I’m Not There?

Best Foreign: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Solid, and easy choice.

Best Actor [Drama]: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood. Hmm, yeah, ok. Better than giving TWBB Best Drama.

Best Actor [Com/Mus]: Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd. Didn’t see it.

Best Actress [Drama]: Julie Christie, Away from Her. Didn’t see it either, but Christie is definitely this year’s “Helen Mirren”-style lock for an Oscar.

Best Actress [Com/Mus]: Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose. Didn’t see it. Since she’s a bit of an unknown, it’s too bad she missed out on giving a speech.

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men. Great choice, and no real surprise.

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There. That works, although Gone Baby Gone‘s Amy Ryan would’ve worked too. At least INT won something.

Best Animated Film: Ratatouile. Yeah, ok. Didn’t see Persepolis, and it wasn’t even nominated.

Best Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country for Old Men. Usually given to the movie that was “clever” more than “good” — I’m surprised this didn’t go to Juno.

Best Score: Dario Marinelli, Atonement. Also a good, easy choice. It was the most memorable score of 2007.

Best TV Show: Mad Men. Nice! And it looks like Jon Hamm won Best Actor too.

So there you have it. In case you missed it, my own best of 2007 list is now buried deep beneath the political coverage.

(James and Keira’s) Golden Calves.

The 2008 Golden Globe nominations are announced, with Joe Wright’s Atonement leading the pack with seven nods. Also nominated for Best Drama: American Gangster, Eastern Promises, The Great Debaters, Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men, and There Will Be Blood. That last film, and Daniel Day-Lewis’ performance in it, are still the Big X-factors for my own best of 2007 list, so I’ll reserve full judgment for a few weeks yet. I will say that Atonement is nowhere near the best film of the year, and it’s absolutely ridiculous that I’m Not There got passed up for a nod in the Best Comedy/Musical category over drek like Across the Universe and Hairspray (although Cate Blanchett got a nod for Best Supporting Actress, and it’s probably between her and Amy Ryan for Gone Baby Gone.) Also, why Juno over Knocked Up, and where’s Hot Fuzz? As for Best Foreign Film, the choices are The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Lust, Caution, Persepolis, The Kite Runner, and 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days. I haven’t seen the last three, but I’d impressed if they’re better than Schnabel’s Bell. (I actually thought Persepolis was a lock for best animated feature, but it’s not nominated…which is good news for Ratatouille.) At any rate, more thoughts on the candidates and the rest of the categories next year, before the big show.

Globes of Gold for Moviefilms.

This year’s Golden Globes nominees are announced, and it’s a particularly strange bunch, with The Departed, Bobby, Little Children, The Queen, and Babel vying for best picture and Kazakhstan’s finest up against Little Miss Sunshine, Thank You for Smoking, The Devil Wears Prada, and Dreamgirls on the comedy/musical side. (Also, lots of doubles, with Leonardo di Caprio (actor), Helen Mirren (actress, TV), and Clint Eastwood (director) all nominated twice in the same category.) Well, I haven’t seen all of these, but suffice to say, these aren’t the picks I would’ve made — even if you discount The Prestige, Children of Men, and The Fountain as genre choices, United 93 is very conspicuously absent. At any rate, it should be an interesting awards season regardless — the only real signed-and-sealed lock so far is Helen Mirren for The Queen.

Golden Year.

As you probably saw, the Golden Globe winners were announced, with Brokeback Mountain (Best Picture, Director, Screenplay) and Walk the Line (Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress, all on the Comedy-Musical side) cleaning up. (Other winners included Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote, Felicity Huffman for Transamerica, George Clooney for Syriana, and Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardener) With the exception of Weisz, no real surprises. I’d like to have seen Jeff Daniels take something home for The Squid and the Whale, but Phoenix was a fine choice too.

Mountain of Gold.

The 2005 Golden Globe nominees are announced, with Brokeback Mountain (7 nods) and Good Night, and Good Luck (4 nods) the big winners and Syriana (2: Clooney for Supporting Actor & Best Score), King Kong (2: PJ for Best Director & Best Score), and Munich (2: Spielberg for Director and Best Screenplay) for the most part overlooked. (Despite what the official website says, All the King’s Men has been kicked to 2006.) Brokeback seems to have the early lead, but I’d say the field is pretty open in most categories (although Philip Seymour Hoffman as Best Actor for Capote seems likely.)

Dark Globe.

A weekend of playoff football (ugh, so close, Jets) has fed into the Golden Globe awards which, I must say, have been pretty disappointing this year. I root for both Clive Owen and Natalie Portman in general, but Closer was a lousy film, and I would have much preferred to see some love for Eternal Sunshine at some point in the evening, even if Sideways and The Aviator are deserving in their own way. (I have yet to see Million Dollar Baby or Ray, but would be very surprised if they turned out better than Charlie Kaufman’s magnum opus.) Ah well, perhaps this’ll help Jim Carrey beat the Golden Globe curse.

Wine & Memory.

The 2004 Golden Globe nominations are out, with Sideways leading the pack as predicted. Given the usual Lacuna-like lapses for early year standouts, I was very happy to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, still my #1 film of 2004, pull down three nods (Best Comedy/Musical, Carrey, & Winslet), although it’ll rightfully face stiff competition from both Sideways and The Incredibles. Otherwise, this list seems like good news on The Aviator, but the lack of Life Aquatic nominations bodes trouble for the next film in my queue.