(Belated) Love Songs, ’11.

“So baby don’t worry, you are my only, You won’t be lonely, even if the sky is falling down, You’ll be my only, no need to worry, Baby are you down down down down down?” One of the unfortunate casualties of the work-bomb and accompanying radio silence the past ten days was the annual Valentine’s Day music post (’05, ’06, ’07, ’08, ’09. ’10.) D’oh!

To rectify the V-day oversight in part, below are a few peppier-than-usual ditties to help winter ease into spring. If, like me and the ladyfriend — yes, I’m very happily un-single these days! — you’re a fellow Dance Central enthusiast, or for that matter just a proponent of #gettngslizzard, you’ll recognize several of these.

“Poppin’ bottles in the ice, like a blizzard…“

“Push me, and then just touch me, tll I can get my satisfaction…“

“Fear and panic in the air, I want to be free from desolation and despair…“

“I get my kicks on channel Six. I get my kicks on channel Six…“

And, until next year…

Happy belated V-day, y’all.

Beckinsale Bites.

So as membership dues for the fanboy nation, I went to go see Len Wiseman’s Underworld last night…woo boy. Kate Beckinsale literally vamping in a tight-fitting leather catsuit — what’s to screw up, right? A lot, apparently. The lack of imagination that went into this flick is embarrassing. Instead of playing with their own founding conceit of vampires vs. werewolves, the movie just happily, stupidly rides along in its faux-Matrix groove. The lycans don’t find any inventive uses for garlic, crosses, or wooden stakes – they just shoot ridiculous amounts of tricked-up ammo at the bloodsuckers, and vice versa. There’s entirely too many laugh-out-loud moments and most of the film makes no sense. Characters keep getting shot with the same weaponry to different effect (Does silver heal, kill, wound, or what?) And then there’s this fellow Shane Brolly — who plays Kraven, nominal head of the vampires until an elder awakens — who may just be the worst actor I’ve ever seen in a major motion picture. (The problem might have been the American accent – I got the sense it wasn’t his.) At any rate, I had grievously low expectations for this flick, and they were not met. To make the obligatory vampire pun, Underworld sucked.

Queen of the Damned.

The new trailer for Underworld is now online. I must say, it looks pretty terrible, even if the idea of building a movie around Kate Beckinsale in Matrix leather makes sense in the abstract. I’ll take saucy Brit Beckinsale over stoic Trinity any day of the week.

Bird of Prey.

Answering the age-old question “What if Anne Rice had written The Matrix?,” the trailer for Underworld is now online. While I’m generally all in favor of Kate Beckinsale in vamp leather, this looks pretty bad.

It’s that time of year.

Return of the King isn’t the only film releasing stills early. Sony, Universal, and Warner Brothers have all recently released their 2003 promo packets, which include pics from such forthcoming films as The Matrix: Revolutions and The Coens’ Intolerable Cruelty. At right, we have Kate Beckinsale in Underworld, a vampires vs. werewolves West Side Story update (no singing, though.) Think she’s seen The Matrix (or Alias, for that matter)?

Trust Elvis.

The Elvis Costello show at the Beacon the other evening was superb (set list here)…I was surprised how good he sounds live. I expected his voice to be a little more off, but he could hit all the notes and wavers from the studio versions. If I could pick three Elvis songs I had to hear, they’d be “Man Out of Time,” “Indoor Fireworks,” and – most importantly – “I Want You,” so I was not disappointed. (Yeah, “Alison,” “Beyond Belief,” or “Everyday I Write the Book” would’ve been cool too, but I’ll take what I can get.) The third encore in particular, the blue-lit, NIN-esque version of “I Want You” paired with “Almost Blue,” was truly a thing of beauty. As for Underworld the other night, I was underwhelmed…mostly by the venue, which was way too small and overbooked for a dance show. In fact, I’ve pretty much given up on the Hammerstein as a venue by this point. (More on the Underworld show in the comments of this post at Do You Feel Loved.) Did I mention that Elvis is King?

Born Slippy, Beyond Belief.

This appears to be the one week a year when I take advantage of living in NYC. A high school friend has procured me a ticket to see Underworld tonight at the Hammerstein, and then Tuesday I’m off to the Beacon to catch one of those acts on my must-see list for years, Elvis Costello and the Imposters. If the setlist is anything as ridiculous as Wednesday‘s, the show is going to be off the hook…Man Out of Time, Indoor Fireworks, Beyond Belief, Alison, Almost Blue, and I Want You?! Unbelievable.