Haunting the Web Since 1999
Times are tough, bub. In a clear sign that the economic downturn is affecting actors and celebrities as much as it is ordinary working people, Danny Huston and Liev Schreiber pay off their mortgages alongside Hugh Jackman in the new trailer for Gavin Hood’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Ok, I kid, this doesn’t look completely terrible. But some of the shots here — particularly Jackman walking away from the explosion, hanging on to that chopper, or otherwise engaged in wire-fu — definitely have that C-movie, Punisher: War Zone feel to them. And after the directorial switcheroo that brought about the lamentable X3: The Last Stand (which has an equally overburdened title, come to think of it — what’s with the colons?), I’m not all that inclined to look charitably on Fox’s handling of this property anymore.
Fanboy-wise, I had mostly checked out of X-Men by the time they began revisiting Wolvie’s origin every other year — most of the stuff I do remember involved Kitty Pryde and feudal Japan — so I can’t really speak to what’s going on in this clip in terms of comic continuity. That being said, I’ve always thought the cajun mutant cardslinger Gambit (here, Friday Night Lights‘ Taylor Kitsch, no pun intended) was a pretty goofy, throwaway character, n’est-ce-pas, mes amis? It is interesting to see (I think) Emma Frost pop up for a second, but, again, I’m much more familiar with the character in her old, Hellfire Club incarnation, before she pulled a Magneto somewhere along the line and got retconned into a X-member. (And I always thought, movie-wise, they should’ve cast Rosamund Pike for the White Queen, particularly in her ice-castle incarnation from the otherwise-completely-forgettable Die Another Day.)
As I noted a few weeks ago, NBC’s Heroes has been a guilty pleasure of mine this past season: It serves up poorly-scripted, wafer-thin, and yet undeniably scrumptious slices of z-grade fanboy cheese every week, and it’s close to the only network show I watch these days. (And the “Company Man” episode of a few weeks ago was good television by any reckoning.) That being said, the show’s outright plagiarism is getting more and more marked, to the point where I’m fast losing interest. Series creator Tim Kring says he doesn’t read any comics, which I find somewhat hard to believe. And there’s always going to be some overlap in the superhero genre, just because there’s only so many ways you can tell the same sort of story. But Monday’s episode not only showed the writers continuing to lift liberally from the famous “Days of Future Past” arc from the Claremont-Byrne years of X-Men, but brazenly ripping off one of the key plot points of the mother of all contemporary graphic novels, Alan Moore’s Watchmen. And I don’t mean homage or tip-of-the-hat — I mean straight-up, unabashed, actionable stealing, right down to Linderman’s Ozymandian monologue. For shame. Do Kring & co. really think their fanboy/fangirl viewership isn’t going to notice?
“We can’t win this militarily. It can only be won politically; it can only be won diplomatically and internationally…And you’ve got to listen to realism and what the public wants in the United States.” Hopefully (but not likely) heeding John Murtha’s words, Dubya’s Iraq team retreats to Camp David for a strategy pow-wow. By the way, is it just me or does the “Interagency Team on Iraq” look suspiciously like the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants?
In related news, a clip from X3: The Last Stand makes it online, and it looks and sounds as bad as feared. If you would have told me beforehand that a clip featuring the Danger Room, Sentinels, and a Fastball Special would be this inert and cringe-worthy, I wouldn’t have believed you. Good going, Ratner.
The Religious Affiliation of Comic Book Characters, with a handy graphic of who’s a member of what “legion.” The site also includes impressively detailed individual entries on each character — not only the big guns like Methodist Superman, Episcopal Batman, Catholic Daredevil, and Buddhist Wolverine, but also everyone from Presbyterian Wolfsbane to the Mormon Power Pack. (Via Triptych Cryptic.)
In today’s movie bin, the full trailer for Brett Ratner’s X3: The Last Stand shows up online. Hmm, I’m still not feeling it. To quote an AICN talkbacker, “Too much wire fu makes Homer go something something“…although I did kinda dig the scene with Juggernaut chasing Kitty Pryde. (Insert your own I’m the Juggernaut, b***ch joke if you’d like.) Also out today is the new Japanese M:I:III trailer, now with considerably less Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Six new one-sheets from X3: The Last Stand make the rounds (as do a few new stills) and, hoo boy — Let’s just say that they’re not going to thwart the negative energy surrounding the project ever since Ratner came on board. Will this be the X-Men’s Batman and Robin?
From Beauty and the Beast to a Beast of a different color, USA Today posts some stills from X3, including one of Kelsey Grammer in costume. I for one never imagined Beast as an irate leprechaun. Update: The brand-new teaser for Ratner’s X3: The Last Stand (Yep, that appears to be the title) is now online. Keep an eye out for Juggernaut and Callisto (also both in the official photo gallery), Dark Phoenix hangin’ with Magneto’s crew (the Brotherhood), and what looks to be a fastball special.
In other comic-film news, more X-Trouble on the horizon: In keeping with schlockmeister Brett Ratner’s earlier-professed desire to sex up the X-Men, X3 adds two come-hither mutants: Mercedes Scelba-Shorte of America’s Next Top Model as M/Monet St. Croix (from Generation X, which is after my time..they’re the new New Mutants, I guess) and Ashley Hartman of The OC as Emma Frost, the White Queen (formerly a villain, until reconceived during the Grant Morrison run.) I guess this means we’ll never get a full Hellfire Club X-film, which is particularly depressing after reading a fanboy dream-cast Deadwood‘s Ian McShane as Sebastian Shaw, the Black King, in the AICN talkback. That would’ve been ten kinds of perfect.