Ghost in the Machine: Archived 8/6/00-8/15/00

Conjuring up Political, Cinematic, Cultural, and Athletic Arcana since the Final Days of the Last Century

"America's success was not a matter of chance - It was a matter of choice." Yer damn skippy. Clinton knocked it out of the park with his farewell speech last night. All in all, I preferred the imagery in Dubya's speech two weeks ago, but in terms of delivery and political timeliness, the President just couldn't be beat. He basically nailed it on the head - The 1993 economic plan failed to garner a single Republican vote, and when it passed anyway the air was filled with the sound of GOP pols renouncing any claim to America's subsequent economic performance. Gingrich, Gramm, the whole nine - I've got a list of dumb Republican remarks three pages long. And, lo! Seven years later, they now claim that Clinton had nothing to do with our amazing run. Whatever.

Don't get me wrong, I do think opportunities were squandered these seven years. But they're not the same ones Dubya was alluding to. In an age of such unbridled economic prosperity, we had a great opportunity to expand health care and eliminate child poverty. We could have worked to rectify the steaming morass of unmentionables that is our political process at the moment. In sum, we could have accomplished a good deal more on the Progressive agenda, but two events - the '94 midterms and l'affaire Lewinsky - effectively put an end to any chance of serious forward movement in these matters. Instead we got a balanced budget and welfare reform. Whoop-de-do.

Nevertheless, I think Clinton's heart is ultimately in the right place, and if he were running for a third term against Bush, I'd definitely vote for him. As for Mediscare Al, well, that's obviously another story. I find it kinda funny that the biggest issue everyone has with Clinton is his "character," and yet - despite the philandering and the evasiveness - I still much prefer Clinton's overall "character" to that of the theoretically squeaky-clean Vice-President. Gore wears desperation, sanctimony, and condescension like so many cheap colognes.

By the way, did anyone else think "76 Trombones" from The Music Man was a strange choice for the President's send-off? Professor Harold Hill (the Music Man) is a charming rogue, a lovable con man who (with this song) dupes everyone in town with his lofty visions of a boy's brass band on parade. In actuality, he plans to take the instrument money and run. You'd think somebody in the Party would stop obsessing over Playboy long enough to think this one through. Although now that I ponder the choice, I could see Gore-Lieberman decrying the purported immorality of pool halls to concerned Iowa townsfolk. Update: I just noticed Tapper's Salon piece today leads with the same Music Man observation - I guess that's what I get for making fun of his drawing skills.

Next up, Walter Shapiro previews "Liberal Night" at the Convention, when Jesse Jackson, Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, Ted Kennedy and Dollar Bill will emerge to remind us of what a deal with the Devil the party's made in "trading liberalism for power" and backing Gore-Lieberman neo-Rockerfeller Republicanism. My advice to Bradley, Biden, and the rest of the 2004 contenders: next time around, keep the free trade, but otherwise move Left. It's time liberalism stopped being a dirty word and progressivism a lost cause, ESPECIALLY in the Democratic party.

The Knicks don't get Fortson either. Camby, you better be in the gym as I write this.

Dukakis vents his spleen.

The Lieberman backlash begins with lingering questions about his opposition to Affirmative Action.

Two speechwriters jaw about speechwriting.

8/14/00 - The Adventures of Clintin. A funny idea, but as for execution, better stick to your day job, Tapper. And where are Gore-Lieberman as the bumbling Thompson twins?

How to write a guitar song in 20 minutes. (Courtesy of Memepool.)

Russian sub trapped underwater with all hands aboard. This is my worst nightmare. Growing up, I was haunted by visions of being in the wrong room in a flooding sub. I think it has something to do with seeing Gray Lady Down as a kid...or maybe it was the caught-under-the-ice scenes from The Dead Zone and Damien: The Omen II. Either way, I'm really feeling for those guys right now.

Grinch pics at Dark Horizons. I seriously doubt they could have made Jim Carrey look any more like the cartoon character. Is he even in there?

The War on Protesters...random arrests, civil rights abuses, and your tax dollars at work. Well, at least one judge is clamping down.

Now that a Confederate flag compromise has been reached and implemented, the Knicks will return to Charleston, South Carolina for training camp this fall.

Scientists plan to collect antimatter and inadvertently obliterate the multiverse. Doesn't this sound like the type of research Dr. Doom would be funding?

On the eve of the Democratic convention (an event already marred by the ridiculous Playboy Mansion snafu, which was brought about by the lethal combination of Gore-Lieberman's sanctimony/moral pretension and Joe Andrew's clumsy heavy-handedness), The Economist goes in search of the real Al Gore: On a trip to a tornado-damaged town in Alabama, he ignored black areas and spent most of his time hobnobbing with officials rather than victims. He still talks to ordinary people as if they are mentally defective: slowly and with every word clearly enunciated. Touche. With a candidate like this, it's no wonder Democratic Presidential aspirants are mobilizing for 2004.

The Voice examines the mighty return of the De La's. I must pick this up.

8/11/00 - What she said. (Via Cluttered.)

Rocco Ritchie?

Welcome to Fight Club. Rule No. 3: No tunic, no sandals, no magick. (Via Other Side.)

Weisberg and Saletan applaud the Nader Mastercard ad.

The battle over bandwidth, an all together readable summary of one of the larger issues at my workplace.

Cool. The Nightmare Before Christmas is being re-released so Disney can make more merchandise and retrofit their aging Haunted House. Make sure to include the two-faced mayor.

Mark Jackson to the Raptors? That's an interesting trade. Beats Doug Christie at the point. I do think, however, that more PT for Travis Best can only be good for the Pacers.

In related news, the Times delves into hardcore fan (Go Knicks!) psychology: A raft of studies since then has found that "highly identified" fans -- both men and women -- are not only less likely to abandon a team when it is doing poorly, but tend to blame their team's failures on officiating or bad luck rather than the other team's skill. They also exhibit higher levels of physiological arousal at games, spend more money on tickets and merchandise and enjoy generally higher self-esteem than people uninterested in sports."

Dog hits man...talk about your bad karma. I must admit, the dog dying upsets me much more than some guy hurting his back.

In a classic version of sequel thinking, embattled NASA releases plans to send TWO Rovers to Mars this time.

Speaking of sequels, more rumored Matrix 2 characters make it Harry's way.

Imus declares war on Lieberman.

Rep. Sanchez agrees to drop the mansion. We're through the looking glass when Republicans act inclusive and tolerant and Democrats act like Cultural Conservatives.

8/10/00 - Yeess, my preciousss... Joel Tobeck has allegedly been cast as Smeagol, the unfortunate halfling who, driven to despair and madness by Sauron's ring, would one day become Gollum.

African-Americans and "the party of Lincoln" - An informative history lesson.

"The condition of the vice president’s teeth had clearly become a distraction." Gore gets a dental makeover. Oh, so that's way he's losing.

Casting speculation begins for a possible new lead in The Matrix 2.

Scientists discover "fat-switching cells."

The storied library at Alexandria is reborn.

This site made my night last night (particularly after Colleen was kicked off, thus obviating any desire to continue watching Survivor): The Infocom Gallery. All the old docs and scans in beautiful, vibrant color. Maybe I don't reflect the market, but I would still pay premium software prices for all-new Infocom text adventures...what about it, Activison?

Gore-Lieberman wig out over the Playboy Mansion fundraiser put together by Loretta Sanchez. Apparently, the idea makes 'em feel kinda funny, like when they climbed the rope in gym class. In related news, they secure gorelieberman.com for free.

Huffington on the drug war. Remember the days when she didn't make any sense?

8/9/00 - The next Survivor? Destination Mir, in which contestants are picked off one by one until the winner gets to spend ten days in the Mir space station. All I can say is, Where do I sign?!

Tom Hanks and Sam Mendes (American Beauty) will travel the Road to Perdition sometime next year.

R.I.P. Reform Party 1992-2000. Get yourselves a smoke-filled room, people.

Ken Starr wants cameras in the Supreme Court. Boy, some voyeurs just can't get enough.

It's getting worse. All of a sudden, Brian Grant seems Miami bound. Hopefully, we can work the playoffs so that the New Look Heat and the Old School Pacers beat up on each other prior to facing us (as Indiana did this year), and we get whichever bruised and banged up team emerges from that fracas. Rastaman, how could you deny New York like that?

Was Jay Gatsby black? A novel reading of Fitzgerald's classic.

Thanks to a remarkable influx of teenage girls, the Internet user population now has a female majority.

Dance, Rich, dance! And, while you're at it, please get kicked off this evening.

Hmmm...the more I hear about Lieberman, the less I like his choice. First, I am pretty much turned off by moral crusading and open religiosity in a politician of any religion ("We in government should look to religion as a partner, as I think the founders of our country did".) Second, it turns out Lieberman has supported capital gains tax cuts and school vouchers and opposed affirmative action. (You can't defend policies that are based on group preferences as opposed to individual opportunity,".) Third, look at the company he keeps. Rabid cultural conservatives from Bill Bennett to Sam Brownback can't stop fawning over the guy. Lieberman's not a centrist - he's right of center. What does a Dem have to do to get some lefty love these days? Oh, that's right...vote Nader.

8/8/00 - Ancient Herculaneum may be saved, thanks to a grant from the heir to Hewlett-Packard.

Looks like a bad day at Khazad-Dum for Gandalf, or Saruman, or some guy with a beard.

Revenge of Napster: Twenty-eight states sue record companies for price-fixing. $16.99, my ass.

Forthcoming Nader ad: "Grilled tenderloin for fundraiser: $1,000 a plate. Campaign ads filled with half-truths: Over $10 billion. Finding out the truth: Priceless. There are some things money can't buy. Without Ralph Nader in the presidential debates, the truth will come in last." Update: See it here.

A Norwegian expedition attempts to track down Selma the Sea Serpent. Don't get Peter Weller or Jon Voight in the mix, or there'll be hell to pay.

The US Post Office contemplates entering the E-mail forwarding business.

UFOs and the NSA: A-OK or DOA?

Word has it Joe Lieberman only narrowly beat out these dark horse veep contenders.

8/7/00 - Ring of bright water: Dan unveils a new look Lake, complete with a very spiffy title graphic.

Gore chooses Lieberman, making him the first Jewish candidate for presidential/vice-presidential office in American History. Personally, I'm surprised that Gore passed over John Kerry (a.k.a. McCain lite). I presume the campaign wanted to inoculate itself from l'affaire Lewinsky. At any rate, I think Cheney and Lieberman are rather uninspiring choices, although I guess they both succeed in that neither outshines his even more uninspiring standard-bearer. Looks like the veep debate is sure to be a real snoozer.

By the way, does anyone else notice that Lieberman looks disturbingly like Ian McDiarmid, a.k.a. Senator/Emperor Palaptine of Star Wars? Update: The good Dumbmonkey points out this humor site, which has arrived at the same comparison.

Ice T joins Law and Order: SVU, and they're partnering him with Homicide's John Munch. Can't say I like the show much, but their banter should be amusing.

Even if his movies now usually suck, Harrison Ford is still the man.

Farewell, Sir Alec. Not since Jim Henson - or maybe Jimmy Stewart - has a celebrity death so bummed me out. Obviously I remember him best as Obi-Wan, but the image that recurs to me this morning is of Col. Nicholson slumping over the detonator in Bridge on the River Kwai. I trust that, wherever he may be, Sir Guinness has now become more powerful than we can possibly imagine.

Napster meets Survivor. In related news, Poniewozik salutes the Gervase gambit.

Nine more planets. Boo-yah.

8/6/00 -
R.I.P. Sir Alex Guinness 1914-2000.

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